Bastard squirrel ate Mike's eye!!!!! ::gejwgoinbswmerwlkjet:: (thats me cussing out the squirrel....)

I carved my $15 pumpkin today. Its Mike Wazowski! I was so excited all day! I was debating (master debating, even) about what to carve it: Mike, or the DMB firedancer. Both would be extremely cool. I decided Mike, cuz it would be cute. So its a pumpkin with a huge eye and a big 'ol Mike smile :D As for the pupil, I tied a piece of pumpkin to a rubber band, so his eye is swinging around. He sees all. Careful. He knows when you're sleeping, and knows when you're awake. And it doesn't matter if you're bad or good, because he's going to kill you anyways.

Jess and I went to Albuquerque to visit Chris Day yesterday. It was really fun! We went to the haunted house at The Beach. It was so cool. It scared me shitless, but afterwards I loved it. I highly suggest it. Its got Jason AND Freddy, and a whole bunch of other cool characters. I can't wait to move to Albuquerque.

"Up and Away" By Dave Matthews

Everyday, Everyday with you
Every little thing you do the way you do
Little darlin' in your eyes
Got me all up and away
You get me high

I saw you there since then everyday
It's like I'm lost and thinking of you in everyway
Since I fell into your eyes
All I know is that you get me high
You get me high

Like I'm dy-ewwwwhoooo
Up and away
You take me baby
Ohh you take me baby

And then you walk the way you walk
You blow my mind to know the way you walk in my way
Then I fall into your eyes
Up up and away the way you rise
Ohh baby
The way you make me high

Before you came you know I didn't care
It's just a game I play
All up and away, I
All up and away
You take me baby

All for you I give it all
Cause when I'm thinking of you
When I'm flying above the world
How I wish I was drowning in you
I must admit that I'm oh so in love you know
Please don't ever let me go
You've done nothing to me but up up and away you go
All up and away
Ah you take me baby
Yeah
Mmmmm baby

Awwww baby

I was gonna make a post, and then I decided I have nothing to say.

Wait, yes I do.

Saturday I have ACTs. Joy. But afterwards Jess and I are cruisin down to Albuquerque to hang out with Chris. And hopefully Dex. We're gonna go to a haunted house. And we're staying with her mom on base. I hope I have fun. I'm planning on it.

We don't have school Friday. Nice.

I played guitar for the first time tonite since May. Jesus. It really hurt, especially to play Crash. But I did it, and I remembered almost everything. Not bad.

Paula said I could borrow John's electric guitar since he goes to St John's and didn't take it, which wasn't too cool on his part. But now I get to see how I do on electric. I've been wanting one, but I'm afraid of them. So this'll work out hopefully.

So Chris told me that, judging from what Dex said, that Dex likes me. Chris is his best friend, I assume he knows. So that made me really happy! But damnit, Dex is never online! Grrrr

Tonite was fun. I decided I was over Dylan and onto someone else. Someone that might...MIGHT...feel the same way?

Went to the toga party, and then into town to drink, and then back out to eldorado for Kyle's party. Saw Dylan at St. Mike's (where we drank), he fell up a hill. Not hot at all. He's like a big buffoon...but it was really funny. So I'm definitely onto someone new....

So the new guys name is Dex. He's in Time 4 Change. I love that band. He's so cute. He's dorky, but so so so cute. Irena and I hung out with him and Chris and Chris' other friend Zach and his whiny girlfriend at Denny's. It was alot of fun. Dex knows every song in the world, which I love. Last night I was IMing him and he told me he thought I was cute. I think I'm overthinking all of this...but its not often even something this mild happens...but he lives in Albuquerque. Total bummer. Oh well...

Fuckhead, I just lost what I typed!!

Anyways.....I had lots of fun tonite! We, being everyone in the world, went to Warehouse 21. The Blue Waldos headlined. They are Ben Clarey's and Crazy Haired Aaron's band. I love their band. Aaron has a surprisingly awesome singing voice. And hair. I love his hair! Its like Paula's only shorter and springier. Carazy. Speaking of Paula, she had eye-sex with the bass player the whole time. Actually it was just him smiling at her the whole time. Actually I like to think he was smiling at both of us and then moved on to just her......right. Yeah. But I had so much fun. And then we went to Denny's. Manny was working, so we got free fries and drinks. Kat, Paula, Kyle, and I went to Denny's. At Warehouse it was Kat, Paula, Kyle, Irena, Becca, Kassi, Harley, Matt, Jess, Alex, Brian....and millions of other people. I had sooo much fun. I love having fun!!

Tomorrow night Big Red is having a toga party. I'm going just cuz its a toga party. And then Kyle is having an after-party party to learn swingdancing. And then we can spend the night. Totally a plan. It should be fun! Hooray!!

Today I figured out the reason why I think Dylan is so hot. Besides his height. I knew it was something else...its his hair! I mean I knew I always liked his hair, but its Howie Day hair! All carazy and everywhere. I love hair like that!

This is Howie Day's hair:


Exams. Ugggggghhhhhhh. But for some REALLY weird reason I have a 97% in Govt!! I don't know how that happened. IT HAS to be wrong. But I'm hoping he won't notice. That would be so nice.

Tonite was Alex's surprise party for her 18th bday. She was surprised, I'm glad it all worked out, and everyone kept it a secret. It seemed like everyone had fun. I felt empty for some reason though....probably just sleep deprivation.

Paula and I went to Alb for a college fair. So I'm totally hanging out at college fairs to meet guys. They were everywhere, and it was awesome. There was one that was so hot that when I was telling Paula something both of our brains just kind of emptied.....and I forgot what I was talking about that. I like it when that happened.

I hung out at Irena's dad's last night with Kyle, David, Kassi, Becca, Irena, and for a while, David Horrowitz (sp??). This kid Brice was gonna come with Marcos and Dylan, so I got really nervous, then excited, and then he said they weren't coming and I was sad. I just needed a bit of alcohol in my system and I totally could have brought myself to talk to Dylan. But the white wine was disgusting anyways. Then we all cuddled. It was a very strange night.

and for some rediculous reason, I feel confident about myself...when I'm not looking in the mirror, that is. Its weird, and I don't know what to do.

For some reason, things have been down lately. I just am not happy. Nothing really specific....except that I'm still EXTREMELY SINGLE. I don't like it. Yet I refuse to do anything about it. Ugh. Its really just my brain that makes me sad.

I just don't know...

SATs are on Saturday. I haven't studied, and I'm not sure if I will. I need to see Ms. Sunseri on Friday though....just to ask her last minute stuff.

I've definitely decided on UNM. For 2 main reasons. 1-we really don't have the money for out of state. that can be fixed for some colleges with good scholarships, but 2-I'm so dependent on my family is ridiculous. and I can't live without my mom. So I need to stay close. I cannot be alone, I become all depressive super fast when I'm alone.

So UNM it is. and I'm ok with that. Now to find what to do with my life.....

I'm so mad at my body. It ruined homecoming.

I was having and awesome time. I loved dinner, I loved playing pool, I was having fun at the dance! Then I lie down for a while, cuz I was exhausted, and my eyes start really hurting. Then I can't see. Then I'm dizzy and confused. Its happened before. It first happened at a concert at the Sunshine Theater. But it was worse then. Its also happened after Casey's costume party last year. And another time I can't remember. It always happens when I wear more makeup than usual, and its hot. I guess its the sweat plus the shitty eyeshadow. Anyways, its hurst like hell.

So I went home at 11. I didn't even have a curfew last night. We were gonna go to Jess' mom's house for breakfast. I wanted to stay and have fun with my friends. Instead I'm alseep at 11:30 when everyone else is partying. I don't think there's a worse feeling.

Atleast my mom said she'd buy me all new makeup.

Hate is a strong word. But right now, I honestly hate my sister. I want to kill her in her sleep. Sure, I won't hate her later, and I didn't hate her 30 minutes ago. But right now, I want her dead. She's a stupid fucking lazy bitch.

I'm so fucking fed up with everything. School, my family, money, work, exercising, homecoming. I hate it all. I do not want to go to homecoming. But I do not want to spend my time at home. I cannot wait till I move away from this hell hole.

and I fucking hate boys. Alot. I hate them all.

and I hate Jessica West and her boobs.