I had fun going to target tonite. I originally went for sunglasses, but ended up with sunglasses, target brand robotussin (non-alcoholic, what the hell?), a double pack of altoids, and cough drops. I'm set for life. what more could you need? I already have a toothbrush. I'm prepared to be a bum now.

I am drained of all emotion. And its only Monday. I have to stop watching depressing movies. Thats what I blame my constant state of not caring on.

And I can't stop eating once I get home. I just eat a bunch of shitty food. I hate it. I can't make myself stop. Its getting worse, and its disgusting. I want to be bolimic. I don't like to throw up though.

I spent all day doing nothing. It was very nice. Woke up around noon, watched tv all day, and spent an hour at Wally World. And my body hurts. Especially my throat and my brain.

Its pretty sad, I came to the conclussion with a friend that parties with alcohol are soooooo much better than parties w/o alcohol. Even though I had a great time at Brian's, I definitely would've done the "Drop it like its hot" thing if I was intoxicated. It sets me free.

Being grounded hasn't been that bad so far. Friday night Jess and Paula came over and we watched Newsies and they spent the night. Saturday we went to a swimmeet to take pictures for yearbook, so we hung out with Kat there. I actually enjoyed it. I love taking pictures with the still camera. And naked bodies. Everywhere.

Last night I saw Along Came Polly with my mom, Jess, Daniel, and Teresa. It was so funny, I loved it. Then Kat spent the night. Yet another non-schoolnight that I went to sleep well before midnite. How sad. Today I get to work. No school tomorrow!

What a weekend.

I'm grounded for quite some time. I'm gonna go crazy, not being able to go out.

Thats all I have to say about that.

School.

I want to drop calc. Now he's collecting homework, and I don't know how to do the work. At all. Its a whole different type of not knowing...nothing I've ever experienced in past math classes. It freaks me out.''

Tomorrow Chris' band "The Puff Daddies" is playing at Warehouse, along with the Blue Waldos. I'm so glad Chris is in town, I get to hang out with him. I invited Dex to come, he said maybe, he would talk to Chris. I really really hope he comes, I want to see him so bad.

I'm back home, and already bored out of my mind. It just really irritates me when none of my friends answer their phones.

I'm the kind of person that has to leave the house and do something productive everyday, or I go kinda crazy. So I slept in till 1 today, and began calling people at 3. I only got a hold of Kyle, who says he's going to sleep at 6, and Paula, who won't be back for an hour, since she's in Albuquerque.

Chris Day was in town yesterday, and I missed him since I didn't get back home till 1am.

I just really want to get out of the house more than anything.

Happy New Year.

Well I'm here in Vegas. I almost got lost in the huge airport, got to Jacinda's house, stayed up, talked until 1am, and slept. I slept so well, and until 10am. I needed it.

We're gonna do something today, we just don't know what.

Oh yeah, and Merry Christmas everyone.

I really should be in bed....

The past three mornings I have been up before 9am. And tomorrow will be even earlier, since I have to be AT Wal-mart at 7am. God help me. But at 8:45pm, I will be on my way to Las Vegas! Woohoo! I'm so excited for tomorrow, yet I'm really dreading it. I'm gonna need a big nap, just like my 2 and a half hour one today. I'm so proud of myself, I've saved up plenty of money for the trip.

Now lets just see if I have any for my car payment when I get back....I definitely won't, oh boy!

Tonite was the Secret Santa party at Harley's house. It was so much fun, I loved it! Harley was my Secret Santa, and she got me a GIANT pez dispenser! I was so happy I screamed. I saw one at costplus today while shopping for Becca and I wanted it so bad! The only bad thing is it plays really loud christmas music for a really long time and there's no way to stop it. But I love! It dispenses the pez containers.

Tomorrow I have a dentist appt at 8am. So I will have approximately 6 hours of sleep. Oh joy! I can't wait! Atleast I get to go with Irena to pierce one of her nipples afterwards!

Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody

"Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
A little high, little low
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me, to me

Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Mama, life had just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Mama, ooo
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters

Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody - I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooo - (anyway the wind blows)
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

I see a little silhouetto of a man
Scaramouch, scaramouch will you do the fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning - very very frightening me
Gallileo, Gallileo,
Gallileo, Gallileo,
Gallileo Figaro - magnifico

But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come easy go - will you let me go
Bismillah! No - we will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let me go
Will not let you go - let me go (never)
Never let you go - let me go
Never let me go - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me
for me
for me

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh baby - can't do this to me baby
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters - nothing really matters to me

Anyway the wind blows..."

I can't stop listening to this song!

yep, failed calc. I'm just hoping I got a 30%. If I did, then I have a 69 in the class, which he counts as a c. I'm fine as long as I get a c.

Soooooo happy exams are over. Half way through senior year!! I'm so relieved. I need to shop, I got most of mine done today, just need to get one for my secret santa and shop for Lorn. I'm gonna shop tomorrow morning, I hate crowds, and I despise children in crowds.

Dave (and friends, including Trey Anastasio of Phish) was on Letterman last night and tonite. Last night they played Save Me and tonite it was Gravedigger. I love Dave.

I visited Dave at the Zia Diner. Well, he was a waiter that looked like Dave. He was very nice and had very crooked teeth. It was fun!

I have hiccups!!! Ugh, I get the worst hiccups in the world. They are loud, and my whole body convulses, and they hurt!!

Its probably from 6 straight (ok, maybe not straight) hours of Calculus. and I'll still DEFINITELY fail. Oh well, thats life.

"I'm a model, you know what I mean and I do my little turn on the catwalk, yeah on the catwalk, on the catwalk yeah I do my little turn on the catwalk" I'm listening to this song now. I love it!

TURTLE POWER!

I heard Better Man by Pearl Jam on the radio this evening. I love that song. I'm pretty sure its my favorite Pearl Jam song.

waitin', watchin' the clock, it's four o'clock, it's got to stop
tell him, take no more, she practices her speech
as he opens the door, she rolls over...
pretends to sleep as he looks her over
she lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man...
she dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
can't find a better man
can't find a better man
ohh...
talkin' to herself, there's no one else who needs to know...
she tells herself, oh...
memories back when she was bold and strong
and waiting for the world to come along...
swears she knew it, now she swears he's gone
she lies and says she's in love with him, can't find a better man...
she dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
she lies and says she still loves him, can't find a better man...
she dreams in color, she dreams in red, can't find a better man...
can't find a better man
can't find a better man
yeah...
she loved him, yeah...she don't want to leave this way
she feeds him, yeah...that's why she'll be back again
can't find a better man
can't find a better man
can't find a better man
can't find a better...man...

What a week. and I went to school ALL WEEK. Well, we had two 2-hour delays, but I was at school the whole time we had it. First time in.....a really long time. This year I will not allow myself to go to an entire week of school. This week didn't count since we had snow delays. But I cannot go to five consecutive days of 8 hours of school. I just don't want to.

Tomorrow night I am going to my company's christmas party. My youngest co-worker is like 35. So it'll be me, a teenager, sober, among all my drunken co-workers. Good thing there's only 10 of them. But it'll be their spouses too. I told Kat she had to go, but she probably won't be able to. This is going to be really really weird....

I'm pretty happy. I'm just content right now, at this moment. Last night Chris said that Dex said that he wants to date me when I move to Albuquerque. Thats very good news. Its probably the best feeling in the world, knowing someone you like likes you back. Its only happened to me once....seriously anyways....and its so nice. It makes me feel very good about myself, which I don't get much of.

I love my hot doctor. Sooooooo hot, want to touch the hiney, owwwww!! I can't get over him. He's like Austin Yost, but hotter, and he has a little patch of hair right below his lip which is the hottest thing in the world. Its such a huge incentive to kiss someone when they have that.

I'm back! I haven't posted in a very long time. I caught strep for a week, then had thanksgiving break, and this week I have a scratch on my cornia. Most painful thing I have EVER endured. Now I know that I can endure the pain of childbirth. But I still don't want to squeeze those things through there. Anyways the hot doctor (yes, very hot eye doctor) said I can't wear eye makeup for a week, so I get to go to school looking more beautiful than I usually am. Oh the joys.

I have an entire......7? page govt project to do and I have to read half of a large novel, Brave New World. What a joyous Sunday it will be :)

Well, it happened. I caught The Disease. Its been going around school for nearly a month. And it caught me. My nose is going to fall off. Goodbye nose.

Definitely check this out:

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Moderate
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

This is what my 7th Level Of Hell beholds: Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.

Oh man, thats awesome!!

Its snowing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love snow so much!!! "I love you oh so well, like a kid loves candy and fresh snow" That kid is me. I love snow, I can't describe how much I love it! Its even better when it replaces school!

CD of the week: Band-Sugarcult; CD-Start Static. Its very good! Paula thinks they sounds like the Foo Fighters, I say they sound more like Jimmy Eat World. Their cd credits both and many more bands. Check it out. They are playing at the Sunshine Theater on Dec. 2nd or 3rd, Time4Change is also playing that night! Also a very good band!

How cool is this?!