DANCE MAGIC DANCE

Why the fuck is webct down from 130 am - 330 pm?? That is worst possible time!! That's when slacker students like me need webct!! Fuck. I have a geography test tomorrow and I need it. Geography is my worst class. Its not the class so much, its the teacher. She is horrible. She is seriously just a really really bad teacher! I can't say I've learned anything, so I'm going to have to learn by reading the book....which isn't some I do often. Luckily the test is on webct, so I can use stuff to help, but we still only have an hour for it. I shouldn't be nervous, though I think she may have made it hard since its on webct. I don't know...

I was telling Becca how my whole philosophy is beneficial and...un-beneficial (its late and my brain has turned off.) Since I was cheated on like 3 or 4 years ago, after a few days I decided to just get over it and move on, since being pissed and hurt really wouldn't change the situation. It wouldn't make it better at all, so I decided to be the bigger person and just get over it and move on. And I did, and I've been doing it since, for the most part. Of course there are things I just can't get over even though I try to force myself to. But since I force myself to stop caring about things, school has become one of those things. I don't stress for tests, or feel bad if I fail. I just don't care, and its horrible. I could really pull of a 4.0 if I wanted to. And I do want to, cause it would be awesome, but I just don't have the willpower to do so. Just like I don't have the will power to eat better.

I can really lose weight quite easily, just by eating smaller portions of healthier foods. I don't have to go crazy and exercise a whole bunch. Its just....at the time, when I'm eating, it feels worth it. Being fat for really yummy food, that is. But then, its easy once you get into the pattern of not eating shit. I did it in highschool, I can do it now. I want to feel good about myself like I used to. Being confident adds so much more to how you act and how you look. I've just found it much harder lately, to feel good about myself, that is. I need to force myself to lose weight, so everyone needs to help. Please be mean to me and tell me not to eat the shit you see me eating. Tell me its worth it to lose 10 lbs, thats all I need.