Jesus Christ, John is looking foxy these days. This is pretty:

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I'M FALLING

I don't understand why I am having such a freakin hard time finding a job this semester. I just checked my email and was rejected by another job. This time I was really counting on it too, it was an office job through UNM, it would have been really sweet. Nice and easy, slow paced, a limit on work hours, wouldn't have to work weekends/holidays. Its especially nice with holidays, since I usually have to quit a fall semester job so I can go home for the month of winter break, only to look for a new job for spring semester, then quit for the summer, over and over. It really sucks. And I really thought I would get this one. But they decided "not to hire additional help." The fuckers. I'm so discouraged, hurt, mad, sad, confused. This week has royaly sucked. I feel horrible lately, in so many aspects.

"Gimme Some Lovin'" by G Love

Gimmie some lovin' early in the mornin'
i just woke up with this appitite,
common gimme lovin' in the morning light
Gimme some lovin' early in the mornin'
i just woke with this appitite,
common gimmie lovin' in the morning light

Some people like it in the afternoon,
i dont' think i could wait that soon
Common gimmie love in the morning light
Some people like it late at night,
i could wait that long, but i don't think i might
common gimme love in the morning light

I'm gonna love you softly and love you sweet
i can feel you heartbeat
i need your attention to get me started right.
i'm gonna wake you up with a kiss on the cheek
come a little close, open up to me
good morning baby, good morning baby

open your eyes just a little bit
good morning sunshine, i can't resist
dreamin' about you baby all through the night

LOUIE LOUIE, ALL WE WANT IS MUSIC

Well hi! I don't really know why I don't blog anymore. I think its because I feel like my writing skills are a lot worse than they used to be in high school, and I don't want people to know I'm stupid. Although I apparently don't really care, since I just said it.

I'm getting old -- I get heartburn. At least that's what I think the pain in my chest is. It makes me feel like I'm gonna have a little upchuck. Maybe I'll nipple on a Tums. Don't things like Chili dogs give you heartburn? I ate Vegetable Beef and gingerbread from Souper Salad, and the DELICIOUS honey mustard kettle chips that I am "naturally addicted" to (that's what it says on the bag). Do those things give you heartburn? I bet its just my old age. I'm not even a teenager anymore. It a really weird thought at first, when it all went down in May. But now...I feel appropriate. Teenagers are dumb. And I ... "I am a responsible, confident, beautiful business woman." That comes directly to you, courtesy of Ugly Betty. Its an alright show.

I really like it when I get stuck on listening to the same cd over and over. And then when I listen to that cd later on in life, it reminds me of things that were going on when I was obsessed with it. Like Jimmy Eat World. They remind me of driving around Santa Fe with Irena the summer after we graduated. They remind of really fun times with friends. And Dave's solo album "Some Devil" reminds me of winter and snow, because it came out around then, so when I was always listening to it it was snowy and cold and wonderful. Jack Johnson is definitely my summer music. More specifically my drive-around-Santa-Fe-with-my-windows-down-during-the-summer music. John Mayer is usually colder weather music. He's good fall and winter music. I'm pretty sure Teitur will always remind me of fall. "Poetry and Aeroplanes," his 1st (?) cd, makes me think of fun times back in the DeVargas dorm with Becca. During Fall, of course. I remember we listened to "Josephine" (a song on that cd) over and over for a couple days. And now I've been listening to his next cd, "Stay Under The Stars" for a good solid week. I've had it for a while, wasn't digging it all that much, but now I'm listening more closely, and I love it. I just don't like his cover of Jerry Lee Lewis' "Great Balls of Fire." Its slow, kinda morbid and cold. Too weird for me, coming from Teitur.

But man, I love fall. Its getting cold! Its already snowing in Ft. Collin's, CO, which is where Kat's living these days. Yes yes, she's left us all. I demand she returns immediately. I can't not be around her, its killing me! I can't wait to see her next weekend. Except I'm kinda stressed about it, since I don't have money. I can't afford the trip. As of now it looks like its just Paula, Uri, and I going (Brian and Alex pussed out of course). I'll just have to borrow money, and definitely pay it back ASAP. I've been job hunting like crazy, but its just not happening as easily as it usually does. Its really frustrating.

I think the Tums helped my heartburn. They aren't kidding when they say fast acting! Way to go, Tums. We should hang out more often.

OUT OF THE DARKNESS COMES LIGHT

I'm free!! I finished my last exam on Monday, and I haven't done shit since!

Yesterday I slept till 12:30 and spent my whole day on the couch watching tv. It was great. I took a break to take a shower, and that was about it!

Josh called me this morning with bad news. Cooper was run over last night. Josh and I shared a house last year, and we got a cat, Cooper. He was awesome. Given, he wasn't neutered, so he pissed on everything, which was great, but he kicked ass. When he meowed it sounded like he was saying "hello." And he was a tough fucker. And last night someone ran him over in Josh's apartment complex. Very sad.

Saturday we had our last party here. It was kick ass. Alot of people showed up, and we were very very close to getting caught. The RA looked through everything, but we hid all the alcohol just in time! It was very scary, and we all got very drunk. And a record of 4 people got sick! I think it may have been the really spicy (with spices, not like hot-spicy) punch I made with The Captain. It was delicous, but I probably would have thrown up too if I drank more of it. It was awesome.

I packed up most of my room in less than an hour. Tomorrow I just have to take down my posters, pack up my clothes, get my bed out of my room, and clean the living room. And I have all day to do this. No problem.

Tonight Becca, Paula, Brian, and I are going to The Melting Pot! How exciting!! Fondue! I've never had it, and shit, dipping food in cheese?! Does it get any better? I don't think so!

I WAS JUST WONDERING IF YOU'D COME ALONG

Well school is almost over! I'm so excited. I hate my classes this semester. I'm taking two classes that aren't worth my time or effort (so I don't put any into them!), which are Earth and Planetary Sciences (I like to call it FUCKEPS) and Geography (which has seriously the worst teacher I've ever had. She can't teach!). I haven't been to those classes in about.....2 months. And then there's Spanish, which wasn't hard, but I didn't learn anything. Its a writing class, and I haven't improved my writing at all this semester. I don't like the teacher. She wastes our time. Then I have my Env Sci Lab, which is awesome. The people at my table are chill, as is the TA. She's honest and funny and a little mean, which I like. Then I have tennis, which is always fun. I love tennis. I rock at it. And I don't go to aerobics because I hurt my shoulder.

So! This semester sucks, school-wise. So I never go, but I work alot. I always look forward to work, mainly because I love the people I work with. The managers are way cool (most of them) and my co-workers are hilarious. I'll miss them all over the summer, but I'm sure I'll be back in the fall.

For the summer I got a job at a restaurant that is opening in a few weeks called Blueberry. Its a mostly-organic restaurant just open for breakfast and lunch, which means early mornings, but evenings off, which is sweet! I'm excited. I'll work as a server, but the owner said he'll probably train me to be a PREP COOK!!! I want to be a chef, and I really want to learn about it, so that's way exciting.

Those are my only plans for summer, to work full-time, make some money (and save it). And of course plans to camp and take some road trips to concerts. Even though DMB isn't till school starts again. But Beck is coming to the Keva Auditorium, which is on campus, on June 23rd. Matt and I are going to that. Nine Inch Nails are playing at the JP on my birthday (5.31), which I think I'll go too, since I've got connections to get free tickets.

I've got finals and papers due this week, and my last final is on Monday, then I'm FREE!! My last day of work is Friday, which is sad. Only two more days :(

I need comforting. And I have nowhere to find it. The only person who can is the one who upsets me.

PANTALA NAGA PAMPA

This past weekend was the trip to Tempe, AZ, and did I have FUN!!!! Matt, Kat, Becca and I finally got around to leaving at 10am Friday morning. The drive there was fun and quick. We checked into our hotel and went to pick up Kat's "friend" Chris from the Air Force Base. We went and ate at Chipotle, which, if you haven't ever been there, is a really really good burrito place. Huge burritos. Impossible to finish. Then we went back to the hotel, where Becca's cousin, who lives in that area, met us. Some drunk guys in the room next door hung out, and we eventually all hit the sack: Matt and I in the one bed in the room. Kat and Chris on Matt's inflatable mattress, and Becca on the shady rollaway bed the hotel charged us $10 for. We were all up and at 'em sometime in the morning, we went and ate breakfast at In & Out Burgers, which I had never been too, and is really yummy, but like Blake's Lottaburger. We then made our way to some record stores and a Buffalo Exchange. I bought 3 DMB cds that were included in the stolen batch for like 6 bucks each. They're used, but in great condition. I also bought a LIVE DAVID BOWIE record and a Tom Jones Greatest Hits record!! I haven't listened to them yet since the record player is in Santa Fe, they are definitely cool to own. We found some parking near the art/music festivals, Becca made us some really strong drinks, and we began the drunken adventures at about 3. We checked out the art fest for a while, downing our strong strong STRONG drinks. Becca, you're a horrible bartender. We walked over to where the music fest was, and noticed we were missing the Gin Blossoms, but we got to hear "Hey Jealousy" outside the place. They didn't allow bottles, so we finished our drinks, and hid a bottle full of vodka in our bag of popcorn, which went off without a hitch. We went in, walked around, got free keychains for the postcards Matt brought (thank you sweety!) and finally settled into a place. Vertical Horizon came on, they were ok, we had already seen them, I walked around with Becca. We checked out the School Of Rock Kids on another stage, they were kick ass. They were really talented and seemed like they were way jamming, but some asshole, their manager maybe, was up stage, like, conducting them the whole time, telling them where to stand, when to solo, while they were playing!! It was pissing everyone off, especially Becca. We went back to the main stage for G Love, where a drunken fight occured. Becca and I went back to the other stage to see Alien Ant Farm, which was fun. Then we shopped. We bought lots of lemonade as a chaser and bought tie-dyed clothing. I was too drunk to care about sizes, so now I have a tank top that is really cool, color-wise, but is too big. But the skirt I bought looks like I'm on fire and is long and wavy and so kick ass. We walked around during Train, who I don't like. They played some covers, like Aerosmith's "Dream On," and something else I don't remember. Then we went back to John Mayer Trio, who was AWESOME!! They were awesome in Denver, and they were even awesomer in Tempe, because I was quite drunk. We danced around and had fun and I loved it! We took the long walk back to the car, where we stopped along the way to dance to drums and later to a guy playing Beatles' songs. I managed to give him the little bit of cash I had left. We dropped off Matt and Chris at the hotel and went to a little mexican food place next door. I ordered, drunkenly, in spanish, and discovered they didn't take cards. So Kat put our order together and paid for me. But they only gave us her food, which was ok. The burrito she ordered was SO GOOD!! And we got HORCHATA!!!!! I love horchata, oh my god. Then we went back to the hotel and died. I think it was about 2am. I have never stayed drunk for so long, especially without going to sleep!! It was awesome. Sunday we got up and went to the coolest store, IKEA. Its a giant swedish housewares store. They had a really good swedish food court thingy, where I had meatballs. This store was aweome. It was the biggest thing I had ever been in. We lost Becca, and then Matt and I lost Kat and Chris. It took forever to find each other. They had so many displays of kitchens and living rooms and bedrooms!! It was so different from other stores. So fun. We didn't have too much time, but I bought a little orange rug for the bathroom and some batteries. Chris' friend picked him up and we made our way back, stopping in some dinky ass town for Italian food. It seemed like forever getting back, it was hell. I was too tired to drive, and Kat almost got us hit by a semi truck, after which Matt drove. We finally got back at midnight.

I loved the trip overall. There were a few bumps in the road, but I had a great time with my friends and Matt. I love roadtrips, I can't wait to do it again!!

2006 Summer Tour Dates

Tue / May 30 / UMB Bank Pavilion / Maryland Heights, MO / with G Love & Special Sauce

Wed / May 31 / Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre / Bonner Springs, KS / with G Love & Special Sauce

Fri / Jun 2 / Verizon Wireless Music Center / Noblesville, IN with G Love & Special Sauce

Sat / Jun 3 / Verizon Wireless Music Center / Noblesville, IN with G Love & Special Sauce

Tue / Jun 6 / DTE Energy Music Theatre / Clarkston, MI with G Love & Special Sauce

Wed / Jun 7 / Germain Amphitheater / Columbus, OH with G Love & Special Sauce

Fri / Jun 9 / Post Gazette Pavilion at Star Lake / Burgettstown, PA with G Love & Special Sauce

Sat / Jun 10 / Post Gazette Pavilion at Star Lake / Burgettstown, PA with G Love & Special Sauce

Tue / Jun 13 / Molson Amphitheatre / Toronto, ONT with Matisyahu

Wed / Jun 14 / Darien Lake Performing Arts Center / Darien Center, NY with Matisyahu

Fri / Jun 16 / Saratoga Performing Arts Center / Saratoga Springs, NY with ALO

Sat / Jun 17 / Saratoga Performing Arts Center / Saratoga Springs, NY with ALO

Tue / Jun 20 / Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre / Charlotte, NC with ALO

Wed / Jun 21 / ALLTEL Pavilion at Walnut Creek / Raleigh, NC with ALO

Fri / Jun 23 / HersheyPark Stadium / Hershey, PA with O.A.R.

Sat / Jun 24 / Nissan Pavilion at Stone Ridge / Bristow, VA with Gomez

Tue / Jun 27 / Tweeter Center at the Waterfront / Camden, NJ with Gomez

Wed / Jun 28 / Tweeter Center at the Waterfront / Camden, NJ with Gomez

Sat / Jul 1 / Alpine Valley Music Theatre / East Troy, WI with Umphrey’s McGee

Sun / Jul 2 / Alpine Valley Music Theatre / East Troy, WI with Umphrey’s McGee

Tue / Jul 4 / Verizon Wireless VA Beach Amphitheater / Virginia Beach, VA with Umphrey’s McGee

Wed / Jul 5 / Ford Pavilion at Montage Mountain / Scranton, PA with Umphrey’s McGee

Fri / Jul 28 / New England Dodge Music Center / Hartford, CT with TBA

Sat / Jul 29 / New England Dodge Music Center / Hartford, CT with Gov’t Mule

Tue / Aug 1 / Riverbend Music Center / Cincinnati, OH with Gov’t Mule

Wed / Aug 2 / Blossom Music Center / Cuyahoga Falls, OH with Gov’t Mule

Sat / Aug 5 / Randall’s Island / New York, New York with Gov’t Mule and Bela Fleck & the Flecktones

Sun / Aug 6 / Randall’s Island / New York, New York with Bela Fleck & the Flecktones

Wed / Aug 9 / Ford Amphitheatre / Tampa, FL with Pat Green

Fri / Aug 11 / Sound Advice Amphitheatre / West Palm Beach, FL with Pat Green

Sat / Aug 12 / Sound Advice Amphitheatre / West Palm Beach, FL with Pat Green

Tue / Aug 15 / HiFi Buys Amphitheatre / Atlanta, GA with Pat Green

Wed / Aug 16 / Starwood Amphitheatre / Antioch, TN with Pat Green

Fri / Aug 18 / The Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion / Woodlands, TX with O.A.R.

Sat / Aug 19 / Smirnoff Music Centre / Dallas, TX with O.A.R.

Wed / Aug 23 / Cricket Pavilion / Phoenix, AZ with O.A.R.

Fri / Aug 25 / Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre / Irvine, CA with TBA

Sat / Aug 26 / Coors Amphitheatre / Chula Vista, CA with TBA

Mon / Aug 28 / Hollywood Bowl / Hollywood, CA with TBA

Wed / Aug 30 / USANA Amphitheatre / West Valley City, UT with TBA

Fri / Sep 1 / Gorge Amphitheatre / George, WA with O.A.R.

Sat / Sep 2 / Gorge Amphitheatre / George, WA with O.A.R.

Sun / Sep 3 / Gorge Amphitheatre / George, WA with O.A.R.

Fri / Sep 8 / Shoreline Amphitheatre / Mountain View, CA with TBA

Sat / Sep 9 / Shoreline Amphitheatre / Mountain View, CA with TBA

Tue / Sep 12 / Pepsi Center / Denver, CO with TBA

Fri / Sep 22 / John Paul Jones Arena / Charlottesville, VA with TBA

Sat / Sep 23 / John Paul Jones Arena / Charlottesville, VA with TBA


So the dates suck for us. They aren't coming to Alb. They are in Denver on a Tuesday, in the Pepsi Center, which is indoors and not fun. But I'll still go to the Pepsi Center. Matt says he won't be able to, so my other ticket is up for grabs!

This weekend was wonderful, Matt and I got to spend some quality time together, which really helped our relationship. I compromised and went to the basketball game, even though I don't like basketball, but it ended up being something fun to do together, and we got free Diet Mountain Dew, which burns when you drink it.

This song on the Curious George soundtrack really seemed to pertain to my current situation.

Questions, I've got some questions
I want to know you
But what if I could ask you only one thing
Only this one time, what would you tell me?
Well maybe you could give me a suggestion
So I could know you, what would you tell me?
Maybe you could tell me what to ask you
Because then I'd know you, what would you tell me
Please tell me that there's time
To make this work for all intents and purposes
And what are your intentions, will you try?
Impressions, you've made impressions
They're going nowhere
They're just going to wait here if you let them
Please don't let them
I want to know you
And if they're going to haunt me
Please collect them
Please just collect them
And now I'm begging
I'm begging you to ask me just one question
One simple question
Because then you'd know me
I'll tell you that there's time
To make this work for all intents and purposes
At least for my own
What is a heart worth if it's just left all alone?
Leave it long enough and watch it turn into stone
Why must we always be untrue?

DANCE MAGIC DANCE

Why the fuck is webct down from 130 am - 330 pm?? That is worst possible time!! That's when slacker students like me need webct!! Fuck. I have a geography test tomorrow and I need it. Geography is my worst class. Its not the class so much, its the teacher. She is horrible. She is seriously just a really really bad teacher! I can't say I've learned anything, so I'm going to have to learn by reading the book....which isn't some I do often. Luckily the test is on webct, so I can use stuff to help, but we still only have an hour for it. I shouldn't be nervous, though I think she may have made it hard since its on webct. I don't know...

I was telling Becca how my whole philosophy is beneficial and...un-beneficial (its late and my brain has turned off.) Since I was cheated on like 3 or 4 years ago, after a few days I decided to just get over it and move on, since being pissed and hurt really wouldn't change the situation. It wouldn't make it better at all, so I decided to be the bigger person and just get over it and move on. And I did, and I've been doing it since, for the most part. Of course there are things I just can't get over even though I try to force myself to. But since I force myself to stop caring about things, school has become one of those things. I don't stress for tests, or feel bad if I fail. I just don't care, and its horrible. I could really pull of a 4.0 if I wanted to. And I do want to, cause it would be awesome, but I just don't have the willpower to do so. Just like I don't have the will power to eat better.

I can really lose weight quite easily, just by eating smaller portions of healthier foods. I don't have to go crazy and exercise a whole bunch. Its just....at the time, when I'm eating, it feels worth it. Being fat for really yummy food, that is. But then, its easy once you get into the pattern of not eating shit. I did it in highschool, I can do it now. I want to feel good about myself like I used to. Being confident adds so much more to how you act and how you look. I've just found it much harder lately, to feel good about myself, that is. I need to force myself to lose weight, so everyone needs to help. Please be mean to me and tell me not to eat the shit you see me eating. Tell me its worth it to lose 10 lbs, thats all I need.

COLD WINTER SUN

So Christmas and New Years happened...both were pretty sweet. Got a little mp3 player made to look like the new iPods, with the black front and the shiny back. It works just fine for me! Got a newer version of my old camera with the broken LCD screen, as well as some sweet cds, warm fake converse shoes, loads of awesome autographed Howie Day stuff and Jack Johnson vinyl records from Matt, among other things.

Christmas was nice, but it went by too fast. It didn't really seem like many were in the "Christmas spirit." I'm pretty sure its because 2005 just sucked. Just...overall....sucked. War, idiot president, so many poeple dying, and then a whole bunch of people breaking up towards the end of the year. Whats with that? My sister's and a couple of my friends' relationships ended right after Christmas...I guess thats when people wait to end relationships...even though John Mayer thinks its St. Patrick's Day. I guess there's enough time between Christmas and Valentine's Day for people to break it off and not feel bad. However, my sister's was the only surprise break up, not a mutual thing like alot of others. So now I'm one of the few people among my friends who is still in a relationship. Kassi and Irena broke up with their's over summer, then came Kat and kind of Becca around New Year's. Kyle's been single for a while, and David is always on and off. But then, the biggest surprise, Nick/Doug Rob has a girlfriend now! And so it seems Paula and I are the only ones left. Its just weird. At one point, almost all of us were in a relationship.

What the hell is going on with the weather? It was like 59 degrees the other day, in the middle of winter!! I guess snow was blowing around this morning...even though the sky was clear, but I wasn't awake to witness that oddity.

So I've been home for all of break now and the only income I've had is from 2 babysitting jobs. That amounts to $80, which I almost immediately spent both times. I was thinking of working for this guy we know who has a catering business, but when I talked to him....I just wasn't sure about it. No one pushed me, so I ended up sitting around...and baking a shitload of cookies the week before christmas, which is always fun. I've been cooking a bit too, and thinking more and more about dropping out of UNM and finding a culinary school here in Santa Fe. I've heard there's one...maybe even more. But I may stick around and get a degree in Spanish.

So when I move back I'm pretty sure I'm moving into a 2 bedroom aparntment with Josh Zwemer and his girlfriend Jen at the Sun Village apartments off of Indian School. Its close to campus, and there's a shuttle bus that takes you there, which is sweet. We just still need to get everything done. I'm not looking forward to school starting. I have shitty ass classes for this semester, because I don't know what to take besides spanish. And I waited too long so most of the spanish classes filled up, so I'm stuck with taking one when I could have been taking 3. Oh well. I'm taking tennis, aerobics, earth and planetary sciences, spanish, and history, but am gonna try to drop history if I can yellow card into another spanish. I hate history.

This past week has been really boring now that my sisters are back in school. I sit around most days till they get home at 3 then finally have a chance to do something.

Oh yeah, and Howie Day got arrested. Again:

http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Music/12/23/people.howieday.ap/