STAY OR LEAVE, I WANT YOU NOT TO GO BUT YOU SHOULD

So my grandma is dying. I got to run to Santa Fe friday afternoon and spend 5 hours there, crying with the rest of my family. I'm more sad about my family being more split apart than I am about my grandma dying. She's old, she's had cancer, she didn't want to treat it, so its her choice. She's been waiting for a really long time too. She's told people she wants to die. I'm sure she's sick of sitting in her chair watching tv all day, every day. She can't even get up anymore. Its really sad. My dad's sisters and brothers have been fighting since she got sick, fighting over who has to take care of her when and all sorts of rules and guidlines that go along with it, which is just rediculous. You should not fight over taking care of your own mother for a couple years, when she took care of you and your 9 brothers and sisters for 30 years. I'm also worried about our family gatherings. Where are we gonna have Christmas? Easter? Are we gonna make empanaditas before Christmas anymore? I hope everything still works out, and then everyone gets along now that they won't have anyone to fight over. Friday when I got to her house everyone was praying the hail mary over and over for like an hour, and it really seemed like she was about gone. Fr Jerome came and gave her the annointing of the sick, and we moved her to her bed, and she just slept, and mumbled every so often. So she kinda leveled, she was declining pretty quickly for a while. She's still with us now, but I'm back in Albuquerque. I, along with everybody else, said goodbye to her. It was nice seeing all my aunts and uncles though. I haven't seen ALL of them together in a really long time.

Meghan is having a really really hard time, with this and with a girl from St. Mike's who committed suicide Tuesday night, she's pretty overwhelmed. Its odd that she's having a much harder time than Lauren, since Lauren actually knew the girl, and Meghan just knew her sister. The girl, Janine, was my little Justine's best friend. Lauren has had a friend Jacki since kindergarten, and Jacki's sister is Justine. So we've known Jacki and Justine for a very long time, they are both very sweet little girls. Jacki is in 8th grade and Justine is a freshman, which Janine was also. So Janine was always over and Jacki and Justine's house, and since Lauren was there alot too, she got to know Janine pretty well. Anyways, the whole school, according to Meghan and Lauren, is in a daze, and everyone spends alot of time in the chapel crying and singing. Its very very sad, and with my grandma on top of this, the girls are having a pretty hard time.

Also, I got my Mateo sick, which I feel really bad about. But I'll take care of him just like he took care of me, and I'll probably get sick again, but it will be ok, cuz I'm still kinda sick. I still have a nice gunky cough.

School's coming to an end, most of my classes are done in 3 weeks, my music app class is done in 4. I plan on taking a week off before returning to Souper Salad and going camping, probably at Elephant Butte, since Vallecitos will be too cold still, according to my mom. I'm trying to get Daniel to come, so we can take the boat, cuz there's no way my dad will let me take the boat alone. But he'll let Daniel. It would be really fun if me, Matt, Kat, Paula, Kyle, Becca, and Dylan and then all of Daniel's friends would all go for 3 or 4 nights. It would be so so fun. I love camping!!! I really want it to happen. So everyone plan on doing that. Ok.