CAR HORNS, CORNERS AND THE GRITTY

Its almost the end of the semester! I had my last day of espanol today, no final! Tomorrow I practically finish up public speaking, with my last speech. Then i just have to write a two page paper really quick. No final in the class either!

Just one final in Environmental science, next wednesday. Thats the only thing I have all next week.

Tomorrow's the gay acoustic peak concert. And we're going. We being Kat, Becca, and I. Hopefully we're gonna get a little merry beforehand.

Yesterday I only got to talk to Matt for like 30 seconds. And today another 30 seconds. It sucks, when he gets off work I'm at work, and I don't get out till like 10:30, and he's already asleep by that time. It really really sucks. I miss Matt like crazy during the week. I can't wait for Christmas break!!

GIVE IT AWAY NOW

Shit I've been busy. Its a big change. I have a job now! I've started working at Rudy's BBQ on Carlisle. Its way fun, I love it. All my co-workers are cool and my bosses are the shit. Its a fun job. I get free food at work and half off whenever I buy food when I'm off. And its way good. Lots of MEAT!

Tomorrow's last day of school till Thanksgiving Break! I'm so excited! I love Thanksgiving! I have an environmental science test and a public speaking test tomorrow...

**sidenote...its legal to walk around topless (as a woman) in Toronto. Another reason why Canada is awesome.**

so its midnight and I still haven't started studying. But there's a show on nipples on vh1. its wonderful.

Today is Matt and I's one year and 2 months anniversary! It's wonderful. I'll get to see him tomorrow night!

GRAVITY

Gah! I have too much to do all of the sudden. I have all sorts of shit due for public speaking. Turn in the 1-2 page self evaluation paper, write the 1 page speaking plan, decide what to talk about for, research, and make a visual aid for, and perfect my 6-7 minute speech that I'm doing tomorrow. I needed to go the bank today and find out if I got all my money back, didn't do that. I needed to go my the student services center and get scholarship stuff. I didn't do that. But I did get the temporary parking permit for the suburban.

I'm tired, I don't feel like writing, researching, or making a visual aid. Ugh. As usual, I want to go home, not be stuck in this tiny room.

DON'T GET ME WRONG, I STILL DESPERATELY LOVE YOU

My car is sick. I was driving to Santa Fe Thursday evening and it started acting....funky. It got shaky and scary. It made it home and my daddy worked on it. I don't know whats wrong with it but he has to take out the motor....or the engine...I really don't know. So I'm driving the old white suburban. Its huge and barely fit into the space in the parking garage. I had to crawl to the back seat to get out, I was that close to both cars. It sucks. I love my car, and I'm very sad that its sick. :(

But this weekend was good. Besides the funeral on Friday. Got to hang out with my family and Matt, which is always fun. Especially stacking wood for hours. I didn't work as hard has anyone else, but thats because I'm wimpier. My back is killing me.

I'm very tired. Got to get up early when Matt went to work and take my car back to my dad's shop. Atleast I got coffee. Its only 10 and I'm ready for bed.

I had something profound to say earlier...but I forgot, as I tend to do with most things these days.

LOVE, BABY

So I made a long post about what I've been up to, but Blogger decided to erase it. That was a long time ago.

I talked about Teitur, a guy Matt and I went and saw in Santa Fe. He opened for this crappy chick Amy Man. She sucked. But Teitur, oh man...he was incredible! I'm in love! He's on myspace. Check him out. You say his name "Tie - ter." Not teeter. He's got an english accent, so say it that way. His cd, "Poetry and Aeroplanes" is genius. He has a song "One and Only," which is his "almost-blockbuster" song. It has almost been in Shallow Hall and How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days. And it was going to be Monica and Chandler's wedding song. But in the movies and scenes were deleted, and it wasn't chosen for Friends. Bummer. Its great.

So that was fun. Halloween was ok. Saturday night we went partying, I was La Llorona, which is very spooky. But last night I hung out in Santa with my parents. Just sick of my dorm and albuquerque. I like Santa Fe much more. Especially hanging out with my mommy and daddy and Matty.

I've been in another depressed slump. It sucks. I got a job at Rudy's BBQ, where they play shitty country music. But they pay $7/hour for cashiering. But I need to get my alcohol serving training first, which I'll get Saturday. Then I can start working...for like a month, then go back to Santa Fe for winter break and work there. Yay.

YOU FELL DOWN THE STAIRS ON PURPOSE

So I'm hanging out in the SRC computer pod again. Because my computer is dead. Again. Matt deleted the virus protection, and then it worked nicely for a while, but Kyle used it when I didn't want him to (he didn't break it, it just broke when he used it) and now its back to its moody self. I think I want to wipe the hard drive again and start over, since I only need my pictures, and I have those on a cd. Why is my computer so evil?!

This weekend had extreme ups and downs. Got to spend time in Santa Fe with family and Matt, which was mostly pleasant. It was nice to see 8am, even if it was at 8am. Earned some money Thursday with my mom, and went wood hunting on Saturday with parents, Daniel, and Matt. Well, the guys did the wood and my mom and I picked pinon, which we have a shitload of now!

My brother broke his wrist falling off a ladder.

I'm going to see a band/artist called Teitur tomorrow. Sort of Howie Day-ish, so looking forward to that. I love discovering little known bands. Like SNMNMNM, which is...this weekend? Next weekend? Not sure. At the launchpad though. And I might even go see them at horrible emo-child filled Warehouse, since Lorn wants to see them. We'll see if I'm in town.

And finally the printer is free, so I can print out my public speaking shit!

LET IT GO

I am so worried about someone right now that I cannot sleep. It has come as a huge surprise and I think I'm in shock. I've prettymuch been crying on and off for the past 24 hours. I hurt so much I don't know what to do with myself. I hate my current surroundings. I want to be in Santa Fe, with Matt, with my family. They are the only people I look forward to seeing right now. School seems to suck, everything seems to be going downhill all of the sudden. Every week is different. Thank god this week is only 3 days, I don't know if I could survive a full week. I feel like this person has suddenly become someone I don't know. This is not something I could have ever forseen. I've tried to surround myself with tv or computer all evening, but both of them suck. I just want to be with Matt. Not in this dorm room. Not eating the fucking shit they feed us here. Not having to bike through the cold rain. Its like the weather is this lingering emotion right now. It won't lift. I usually don't fall into sad spells like this very easily unless it hits closely, which it has. I just want someone to tell me this isn't true, that none of this is happening. I can't accept it. It just seems so unlikely. I can't make sense of it. I just wish so badly that people would learn how greatly their actions affect others. I prettymuch can't talk to anyone about it, and that is what is hard. I have to play happy to avoid confrontation, because I know some will force it out of me because of concern.

I just want to be home. I don't care about school at all at this point.

HOKAY, SOH...

I'm way tired. I keep going to sleep way too late. Last night I would have gone to bed at like 1am had shit not happened. And now I'm sitting in the SRC lab, alone and a little scared, instead of being in bed.

Relationshiply, things could be better. But we're working through. As of this moment I am happy.

On that note, a week ago was our anniversary. I meant to post something nice and romantic about it, but never had the time. I have a couple people to thank: Becca's parents for making her and her birthday, Dylan for being in Phi Delt, and John Mayer for being on the mix cd I made for Becca. Oh, and the shy guy who sarcastically said "oh, John Mayer, now I can stay at this party." Honestly, my first reaction was "ugh, what a stuck up ass. I should pick an argument over this." good thing I like to argue about music. and also a good thing I get leany when I drink.

I woke up with a card...a fraternity business-type card, which was funny...in my back pocket. On the back of it was sribbled "Matt 280-****" Hmmm.. I remember this happening! I was way excited. but my hangover kept me from jumping around.

everyone told me to use the 3 day rule...call someone after three days. before that you seem desperate and clingy and crazy. after that you seem uninterested. well, my brain couldn't take it, and it didn't want to push an anurism (sp?), so I caved in after 2 days. it was scary, i was nervous. i was planning on acting calm, "hi, is matt there? hi matt, this is katie, we met at becca's birthday party." instead it came out "HI!!!!!" "....hi....." "ITS KATIE!!" ".....oh, hey" "we met a becca's birthday party and you gave me your number!!"

its a miracle he didn't hang up right then and think "wow...she was a lot calmer when she was wasted." but instead he hung in there. probably took a couple breaths as to not make me cry. and we made small talk.

the next day i got a text asking to hang out between classes. we met at the benchy things in the middle of the mitchel hall/ortega/duckpond area. i sat for a while, thinking he wasn't coming. then i saw him...i did the looking away thing...where you pretend not to watch them walk to you from a long distance away. he was with 2 guys. great...he brought his friends. now i'm intimidated. but then they give him a pat on the back and took a different path. i thought i might throw up my heart.

we sat, talked for a while. he didn't look at me much...spoke to me, but not AT me. it was weird. weird that he was so shy...and nervous? he was a senior. a cool frat dude that i picked up with my hot looks and leany ways. stuff like this doesn't happen to me. it was great!

i faked school spirit and went to red rally. grabbed his hang while walking through a crowd. was talked into going down to cruces for the game, and shared a bed w/him in a hotel with 7 other people. and along with kat almost teared apart the entire greek system at unm, or so we've been told.

and i couldn't have been happier!

WHAT TO DO?

Well this weekend sucked. Alot. Too much fighting. Way too much. Hopefully thats over.

And my computer is dead. D-E-D dead. So not much posting going on till I fork over the money for people to save it. I'm working up the patience to call Dell.

I have no ambition lately. I've missed way too many pilates classes, not sure if I'll get that one credit...which means I'll have 11. Which means I'll lose my scholarship. So I'm gonna pick up another P.E. class for the next 8 week session, which is the 2nd half of the semester. So I'll have 12. I think the lack of things to do is making me lazy. I need a job.

Things just suck right now. I'm depressive and not fun to be around. I feel like I'm bugging people/asking too much of them. Atleast thats what it seems like.

LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE!!!

I'd cite whoever wrote this, but I found it on myspace with no author.



Being grown up isn't half as much fun as growing up <3


Close your eyes...And go back...

Before the Internet or the AIM

Before semi automatics and crack

Before SEGA or Super Nintendo...



Way back...



I'm talkin' bout hide and go seek at dusk.

Red light, Green light.

Playing kickball & dodgeball until your porch light came on.

Mother May I?

Red Rover

Hula Hoops

Running through the sprinkler

Happy Meals



Wait...

Watchin' Saturday Morning cartoons

or what about legends of the hidden temple, global guts, double dare, and ARE YOU AFFRAID OF THE DARK!

And who could forget Snick

Fat Albert, Road Runner, Smurfs, Picture Pages, G-Force & He-Man Wonder Woman

& Scooby Doo Underoos

Playing Dukes of Hazard

Catchin' lightning bugs in a jar

Christmas morning...

Your first day of school

Bedtime Prayers and Goodnight Kisses



Climbing trees

Getting an ice cream off the ice cream truck

A million mosquito bites and sticky fingers

Jumpin' down the steps

Jumpin' on the bed

Pillow fights

Runnin ' till you were out of breath

Laughing so hard that your stomach hurt

Being tired from playin'

Your first crush...

Rainy days at school meant playing "Heads up 7UP" in the classroom Remember

that?



I'm not finished yet...

Kool-Aid was the drink of the summer

Giving your friends a ride on your handlebars

Wearing your new shoes on the first day of school

Class Field Trips

When nearly everyone's mom was at home when the kids got there.

When a quarter seemed like a fair allowance, and another quarter a Miracle.

When your parents took you to McDonalds and you were so cool.

I want to go back to the time when...

Decisions were made by going "eeny-meeny-miney-mo"

Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "do over!"

"Race issue" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.

Money issues were handled by whoever was the banker in "monopoly"

Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening

It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.

Being old, referred to anyone over 20.

The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was cooties.

Nobody was prettier than Mom

Scrapes and bruises were kissed and made better

It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at

the amusement park.



Getting a foot of snow was a dream come true.



Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare"

Spinning around, getting dizzy and falling down was cause for giggles.



The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team.

Water balloons were the ultimate, ultimate weapon.

Older siblings were the worst tormentors, but also the fiercest protectors.

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have LIVED!!!



Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their "grown up" life...


i double dog dare you

WHO NAMES THEIR KID BANJO?!

Oh yeah. I met the John Butler Trio again, which was cool. I forgot cuz thats when I was still wasted. What was Matt doing letting me run around all drunken, by myself, in a big steep venue? I could have died! Thanks Matt.

But yeah, I went back to the merch booth after we sat down to buy Kat's shirt that I forgot the first time I was in line, and then I got in the line to meet JB3. John Butler had his little baby girl, named Banjo, in his lap, and she even signed my ticket. How cute. I then told one of his band-guys that I saw them 4 years ago and had really been wanting to see them ever since, and he said, "Uh...we've only been with John for 2 years." Lol...so I told him it was great to see them for the first time. Isn't it weird that John Butler can kick out 2/3 of the "trio," find 2 more dudes...and call it the same band? There's only three of them...I found that weird. Its also like how Billy Corgan is getting all new band members, yet "reforming" the Smashing Pumpkins. They will not be the Smashing Pumpkins...they'll just be another Zwan.

And yes...Matt ate all the cheese. He went to get food and I wanted nachos, so he came back with a hot dog and cheese. And then when I went to chill with JB3, he ate the cheese! The only part I actually wanted!! I scarfed down the hot dog and then felt like throwing up. It was great.
Maybe I'll get to eat some cheese at the JM3 (not to be confused with JB3) show.

Maria Querida

Red Rocks was awesome!! I had a great time tailgaiting with the Warehousers and getting nice and drunk with Matt. The porta-potties were quite an experience...especially the one which had a little river of overflowing "matter" emitting from it...

The set list was good, could have been better, they did play Seek Up and One Sweet World, both of which were great, and the usual others, Blackbird, Hunger For The Great Light, Steady As We Go...also some not so good ones like Where Are You Going (for the encore..ugh), and the capped it off withTwo Step, which was great. We were 31 rows back, right on the side in seats 1 and 2, which sucked because the WHOLE TIME people were walking back and forth in front and beside us, which was distracting to say the least. But the whole experience was really fun!

And now Brian is visiting me...bye!

BURN HIM!!!

Zozobra was SWEEEET, I got a little drunk, have a little hangover....definitely enough to skip all classes today. I had alot of fun, even though we had to poor out most of our alcohol at the gates, which was just gay, but makes sense...we don't need all 35,000 to be raging drunk. Maybe just 30,000.

DMB in Red Rocks is TOMORROW!!! Sweeeet...I'm so excited. Very very very. It's gonna be a sweet weekend!

THIS IS MY FIRE TOO!

So, the DMB show was super sweet, of course. They gave me #41, finally! I hadn't heard that song since my very first show in May '01, and it was awesome. They also punched out Hunger for the Great Light, the sex song! I love it, during the sexy parts the lights were all red, during the chorus, they shined this bright white light, I loved it. The light show was awesome.

On a side note....Gary Busey is the weirdest man I have ever seen.

They also played Don't Drink the Water, and Granny, which I also hadn't heard since my first show, which I loved. The concert was very very very very very fun! I cannot wait for Red Rocks next weekend!!

This weekend I went camping!! My whole family went, including Matt, Meghan's friends Erin, Claire, and Zoe, and Daniel's girlfriend Erica. 11 of us in all, it was really fun. Oh, and my cool aunt and crazy hick uncle. The best part was getting flooded in the tent with Matt at 2am Saturday night and getting to sleep in the Yukon. That was actually 1 of the 3 sucky things that happened. Another was my crazy uncle not letting the girls sit around the fire cuz they didn't help chop wood....which was just gay. They got rained out Saturday night too, and left early early Sunday morning, yay. I love my aunt but my uncle is just an ass. The last sucky thing was my dad wrecking the boat on some rocks that were underwater. He's really surprised it still works. I took on very little water, which was lucky. So the camping trip was great, I got to cook the whole time, which I love doing. It was way fun.

On to the 3rd week of school...I'll do my best to make it to all of my classes, but I can't make any promises, since Friday is the day after ZOZOBRA!!!!!

YOU GUYS THINK THIS IS A JOKE, THIS IS SERIOUS! YOU'LL GO TO HELL FOR ETERNITY!!

There were these crazy ass cowboy jesus freaks on campus today, trying to get all of UNM to repent. It was retarded. I wanted to yell at them to shut up. Kat wanted to tell them jesus loves everyone and then hug them. Supposedly Matt DePaula went to one who said disease was god punishing people, and wanted to ask him if he thought vaccines were the work of the devil, and tell the guy he has definitely had vaccines, and so he had the devil running through him. I wanna know how that worked out.

Tomorrow is DMB!!!!! Finally!!! I'm very very excited. I still have to figure out what to wear. I'm not going to Pilates. After 2 we're going to Kelly's to hang w/DMB fans before the show, then I plan on heading over there at 5 since the gates open at 5:30. DAVE!!!!

GOOD EATS!!

Irena's food science teacher is named Alvon Brown. How cool is that?? Its very close to being Alton Brown, who I love. He is on my favorite show, Good Eats, on the food network, to those who don't know.

BACK TO SCHOOL, OH BACK TO SCHOOL

Well I've moved into the dorms! Being at home alone sucked ass (just like Kassi likes to do), and I was extremely alone since Matt lives in Santa Fe without me now. So I'm in Devargas 1, and soon (tomorrow or friday) I will be moving into a room across the floor with Becca, cuz both of our roommates are weird. Hers is shy and has a big poster of some rappers on the wall, and mine got up at 5:30 AM this morning to work out. Freak. So we shall soon be roommates, which is exciting! The internet here is SUPER FAST, which is awesome, and we're both gonna move in our huge beds, so our tiny little room will just be filled with bed. No other furniture necessary. But she's at the Coldplay concert now with Kat and Harlie and Kassi. I wanted to go but not enough to spend $32. Thats ok, because...

DAVE IS IN A WEEK!!! That's right kids, next wednesday, live from the Journal Pavilion, is the Dave Matthews Band, back for their 4th year of being here. And then, as you all know, is the concert at RED ROCKS on the 10th with Matt. And then we are going BACK to Denver the NEXT weekend for John Mayer. I'm thinking we should fly, not drive, for John. I'm already making the drive this weekend too. Six flags! No real reason, just my family wants to go. So we're going. Denver is nothing to us. We make the drive often enough for Broncos games. But its gonna be a sweet couple of weeks for concerts!!

YOU LOOK SO PRETTY SLEEPING NEXT TO ME

Hey kids--

...yeah right...no one actually reads this.

I haven't been up to much. Working at Le Soup, getting sick of it, not making enough money.

Went to Durango for a weekend w/the family & Matt, went river rafting, that was sweet.

Brian and I took our Howie roadtrip to Denver this past weekend, it was sweet. I bought alot of clothes at the concert and got my 2nd and 3rd migraines ever, one on the day of the concert and the other on the drive back home. Not fun.

Matt is leaving to Wisconson tomorrow, and coming back Monday. I already miss him, and I am extremely jealous that he is going to 2 Dave concerts w/o me, but he already knows that.

Next week is our family vacation, finally! We're heading out for Vegas, Lake Tahoe, and the Red Wood Forrest. Sounds sweet. I'm gonna play DDR until I die in Vegas!!

Our 9-mo anniversary is tomorrow! I love the 22nd. I forgot to give Matt his present before he left.

I saw Wedding Crashers, and my favorite part was when Guster was the sad song towards the end of the movie! I love Guster, and I caught it right away, making myself feel extra smart!

I also saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It was good, kinda weird, I didn't like the oompa loompas, but Johnny Depp did an awesome (but different) Willy Wonka.

DMB is hitting up Red Rocks this year, on Sept 9, 10, and 11. Matt and I are going to the 10th. Red Rocks is an amphitheatre outside of Denver built right into the red rock hillside (hence the name). I'm very excited, I've always wanted to go there, heard its beautiful and has amazing natural acoustics. Dave!!

All for now.

YOU CAN DRESS UP LIKE A SULTAN IN YOUR ONION-HEAD HAT

So I haven't posted in a month. Sorry! Now that I'm back in Santa (yay!) I'm never online. Its too dificult to search the whole house for Daniel's computer and the phone cord that is never long enough. But tonight I found the strength. Why don't I use my own computer, you ask? Because its too slow, I have too many pictures on it! I've decided I need a million dollars to go print out all my digital pictures at Walmart, and another million dollars to buy photo albums, because they're just cool and old-school.

Well, its summer break now. And I'm back at Souper Salad/The Soup/Le Soup/SS. I love it there, and Kat's working there too! We're super hot so we make great tips. Plus I get to practice my spanish again with Benito and Oscar. And every Tuesday I go and play softball with my bosses (Shawn and Angela) and a co-worker Lisa and her almost-boyfriend Marcus. Kat and I went last week, but this Tuesday was my birthday, so I didn't go. But next week, here I come!

Thats right, yesterday was my birthday! My sweet Matty brought me really pretty roses, and the sweet Before These Crowded Streets VINYL RECORD that I've been dying for forever on Ebay!! He gave that to me early though. Its so sweet, I've wanted it for my entire life, and its so freakin' expensive because its so freakin' rare! Thank you Matt, I'm inlove with you forever and ever now. My parents bought me a pretty watch, and gift cards to the GAP, American Eagle, and Best Buy. I already spent the Best Buy one on Guster's "Lost and Gone Forever," DMB's "Under The Table and Dreaming," Howie Days' new duel-disc (cd and dvd on the same side!!) "Stop All The World Now," and Cake's "Comfort Eagle." All of that was $57. I miss my cds!! But I'm so happy to have these ones back, I've really missed them! Kat gave me flowers in a cup, Becca promises a burned copy of Jack Johnson's "On and On," which I also can't live without. I'll be throwing myself a great party at the Alb-house on Saturday night, so anyone who actually reads this anymore is invited, just gimme a call. My Aunt Chelo gave me $10 (sweeeeet!). I bought myself a Mucho's Turkey Surprise birthday sandwhich and a beautiful hippy shirt from Durango.

That's right, we went to Pagosa Springs/William's Creek/Durango, CO for Memorial Day weekend! It was a whole shitload of us: Me, mom, dad, Meghan, Lauren, Meghan's friend Erin, Matt, Kat, Kat's mom, Kat's dad, Kat's sister, Our friends the Catnach's (4 of them) and their friend Jason=16 people in 2 camp sites. It was really really fun except when I threw a temper tantrum (sorry, I'd blame my period but it was over. No excuse.) We went to The Springs (ahhhh...) and to Durango where I went to my favorite hippy store in the whole world. It was wonderful.

What else what else....not too much I guess...not everyone is back from school yet, still waiting for Kassi, Irena, and Harlie. I can't wait for them! Matt got a super sweet job working for the governor, in "consituency services," which means he gets to answer the phones and deal with mad people/the press, and release the press statements and all sorts of important stuff!! I'm so proud of him! And he will prolly be moving to Sfe, which will rock will I move back to Alb, because then he'll be in my town without me :(, but we'll worry about that in September.

Speaking of jobs, I've decided I need to think about what I want to do for the rest of my life. I'm now a college sophomore, and I need to start taking serious classes for a career. Sure I love spanish and its my "major," but I really really REALLY wanna take cooking and baking classes, but UNM doesn't offer those, so I'm thinking about taking some TVI classes, or wherever I can. Maybe I'll go to the College of Santa Fe and live here for the rest of my life. I'd be cool with that. I wish I was the woman version of Alton Brown. He's my hero.

Well I guess thats just about it. Oh Wait! "Stand Up" (DMB) came out, and I'm sure every last one of you has it. Not really, I don't know any of my regular friends, who call themselves "fans" who have the cd. Its different, but great. Like the Chili Peppers' "By The Way," only hip-hoppy instead of...rocky? Dream Girl, Hunger For the Great Light, and Everybody Wake Up are my favorites on the cd. Please buy it or alteast burn it, and for the love of god get your tickets for the show at Journal on Aug 31st!!! All you "fans" are really slacking!! Bad!

Well, have fun till next month!

I don't know why I'm so fucking miserable lately. I go up and down, really. And since I'm always around Matt, I end up taking it out on him. I'm sorry Matt, you know I love you and I don't mean to be moody, but its not something I can help. I didn't go to work, sociology, or english today. But I did go to pilates, and very shitty afterwards. Physically and mentally. Tried to take a nap which I didn't need since I slept till 12:30 today, but I couldn't sleep even though I feel exhausted. Called my mom to feel better but she just jumped all over me for not going to work, which I never should have mentioned. I cannot wait for school to be over, so I can go camping, with or without everyone, and just do absolutely nothing but listen to Dave for a couple days, which I really need.

I've been crying way too often. I never cry. I usually only cry like every other month, but since my grandma died I've been crying like every day for one reason or another. My eyes always hurt. I can't focus on school, which is great with finals coming up. I have to write a paper for music and study for spanish tonite, as well as clean the house since Tiffany is coming on Wednesday to check out the house, so it needs to look nice. And since I feel all shitty, my diet is going to hell. I eat way more when I'm all depressed. And Jen (Josh's girlfrend) baked me cookies for my birthday, which they thought was yesterday...which was weird. Josh gave me a shirt from Florida, which was really sweet.

But I don't understand why I feel so shitty. Maybe its my grandma...maybe its something else that I can't figure out.

WAKIN' UP TO EARLY, MAYBE WE COULD SLEEP IN. I'LL MAKE YOU BANANA PANCAKES, PRETEND LIKE ITS THE WEEKEND

I accidentally did just that this morning, and as soon as Matt left I realized it. That's a lyric from "Banana Pancakes" by Jack Johnson. His new cd, In Between Dreams, rocks my socks off, so everyone should check it out. Its not as good as On and On, but someone stole that, so I'm stuck with IBD and Brushfire Fairytales, since I found a burned copy of that in our cd's.

I think the first two cd's I need to buy are On and On by Jack Johnson and Comfort Eagle by Cake.

I was gonna go work at 8 this morning, be I decided not to go at all instead. Oh well.

I just saw a Subway commercial, and even though Jared lost a whole bunch of weight, he's still really freakin ugly.

Today will rock. I only have one class: Sociology from 1 to 2, then nothing else for the whole day! I think I may go to work if somewhere needs it, since I need to make up for missing so much work last week. I think Kat, Becca, Dylan, Matt, and I all need to go eat lunch afterwards, except Becca will probably be working, and Dylan will go get ready to work out, just like they always do. Oh well though.

STOLEN AWAY ON 55TH AND 3RD (THOUGH IT WAS ACTUALLY MADISON AND COPPER)

So finally karma is making up for last week by giving me a really good day today. I woke up this morning -- and I was actually awake. It was weird. Well, I actually couldn't go back to sleep after hitting snooze because SOMEONE was hogging the sheets. Looks like I'm not the only one who does it!

So I got ready with time to spare, which simply never happens. I got to check my email and was on time to spanish -- which also never, ever happens. Even when I go, which is usually once a week, I'm never on time! It was a miracle!

After Spanish I got my usual delicious Mango Tango Odowalla (sp?) shake and headed to music appreciation, which was awesome. We listened to weird modern music, where one dude puts shit like pie tins and nuts and bolts inside his piano and then plays the notes, but it actually just makes weird noise. Then we listened to this song called "Heartbreakers" by this dude Jacob Ter Veldhus. Kyle (Tuffli/Mediocre) would have loved it. It was electroacoustic music, meaning there was pre-recorded stuff along with a live band. The prerecorded stuff was sound clips from Jerry Springer, and the live band was a jazz band. So it was jazz along with women yelling all sorts of shit, and it was just awesome. It doesn't sound that awesome, but trust me -- it was. Kyle, find it, and download it. It is you, my friend. YOU!

After music I skipped (not really) over to the honors building where I hung out with Win, who I hadn't seen in forever. He helped me choose an honors class and it was still available! I went to the SUB and registered for it, and checked email and blogs and stuff like that.

I still had time, so I ran over to the student health center and filled out the little form thingy that says "You can't charge me for missing my appointment, because my Grandma died, so there." Thats right bitches. No charging me. Plus, my foot might be healing...so I don't need a doctor. Ha!

I was in a great mood. I went to the humanities building for my english conference with Stephanie, who actually gave me a GOOD GRADE on a paper! I got a 94 on my Dave paper! Yay! It was sweet. It was like the only research paper I have ever enjoyed writing. It was too easy. Thats what I do in my free time anyways!

Then it was on to meet my mommy for lunch! I stopped by to say hello to mi novio, who wasn't feeling so hot, so he took a bath, lit some saint candles, shaved his head, and now he's working on his mustache.

I helped my mom for a bit at Wally World since she wasn't quite done, and rewarded myself with beautiful new summer plastic dishes, which I have wanted since Christmas. I hate our boring dishes at the house, I now I have pink, purple, red, yellow, orange, blue, and green plates, bowls, and cups. SWEET!

Mommy and I went to Panda, where I tried delicious new garlic shrimp, which was delicious, and then we went to Baskin Robbins and I got Nutty Coconut ice cream, which was also delicious. As we walked out, we saw this dude was standing right behind my car, reading my bumper stickers! It was awesome! He stood there for like 2 whole minutes, basking (basking? not sure...) in its greatness, and I felt very cool.

We headed to mi casa where I gave her Meghan's jewelry her friend needed for prom, and then I watched Oprah and the Home Shopping Network. What a wonderful day!

SAY GOODBYE

Jesus fucking christ, this has been the hardest week ever. Had a 12 page paper due yesterday and a research paper due today, had to do both very quickly then try to deal with email and different programs to email them to my teachers, I missed most of my classes, which I hate doing, spent most of the week at home with my family...being all sad about my grandma didn't make all the schoolwork easier, and then I have to find a dress for the spring formal tomorrow, the whole "fixing" my prom dress was a disaster, so now I have to go to the mall very early tomorrow morning to find a dress for tomorrow night, which is cutting it way too close, so its probably not gonna work out. i'm too stressed out to enjoy anything right now. too. stressed. out. and i'm out of tears. i want this week to be over so so so badly. i just want to sleep for an entire week. but next week i get to work my ass off since i missed almost all of my work this week. ugh.

THE STORY OF THE THREE LITTLE KITTENS

My grandma finally died this evening around 5, after it seemed like she was gone since Friday evening, it was a long battle. But she didn't want to treat the cancer, and she was old (86), so its not unexpected. It just worries me that maybe she did suffer. I mean, she was bleeding internally. Even if she was asleep since Friday, bleeding to death has to be painful. Only my aunt Chello was there today when she passed, and then everybody went back. I didn't go though, because seeing her dead body would stick with me and haunt me. I have never seen a dead body nor have I ever seen anyone die, and seeing someone like my grandma would freak me out too much, and I have to concentrate now that I've got all sorts of joyous shit to deal with. And this along with Janine, which happened a week ago today, just is too much. I didn't know her but it still affected me because it affected my sisters and a close friend of ours. Death sucks. My poor dad, I have never seen him like this. He misses his mommy. But atleast, according to them, she's with her husband again after over two decades. I'm worried about my dad's siblings and how they are going to get along now. I hope they'll bond back together, because I miss those times.

On a lighter note, I'm too fat for my dress. You know the dress, the black one with the white slit and the REAL DIAMONDS in a splash. Yup, I'm wearing it for the spring formal on Saturday, I really hope the funeral isn't then, because I know Matt wants me to go to this with him, especially since its his last one. As much as I hate these kinda things, I'll go for him, because I know he'd do it for me. But I'm still gonna be a pain in the ass about it, because I'm stubborn. But anyways, it won't zip all the way up. I have obviously gotten fatter in my upper back, which is just weird. But Teri Schnitger it fixing it for me, by adding more material around the top, so that I'll fit into it. I'm sure it will be a good time.

STAY OR LEAVE, I WANT YOU NOT TO GO BUT YOU SHOULD

So my grandma is dying. I got to run to Santa Fe friday afternoon and spend 5 hours there, crying with the rest of my family. I'm more sad about my family being more split apart than I am about my grandma dying. She's old, she's had cancer, she didn't want to treat it, so its her choice. She's been waiting for a really long time too. She's told people she wants to die. I'm sure she's sick of sitting in her chair watching tv all day, every day. She can't even get up anymore. Its really sad. My dad's sisters and brothers have been fighting since she got sick, fighting over who has to take care of her when and all sorts of rules and guidlines that go along with it, which is just rediculous. You should not fight over taking care of your own mother for a couple years, when she took care of you and your 9 brothers and sisters for 30 years. I'm also worried about our family gatherings. Where are we gonna have Christmas? Easter? Are we gonna make empanaditas before Christmas anymore? I hope everything still works out, and then everyone gets along now that they won't have anyone to fight over. Friday when I got to her house everyone was praying the hail mary over and over for like an hour, and it really seemed like she was about gone. Fr Jerome came and gave her the annointing of the sick, and we moved her to her bed, and she just slept, and mumbled every so often. So she kinda leveled, she was declining pretty quickly for a while. She's still with us now, but I'm back in Albuquerque. I, along with everybody else, said goodbye to her. It was nice seeing all my aunts and uncles though. I haven't seen ALL of them together in a really long time.

Meghan is having a really really hard time, with this and with a girl from St. Mike's who committed suicide Tuesday night, she's pretty overwhelmed. Its odd that she's having a much harder time than Lauren, since Lauren actually knew the girl, and Meghan just knew her sister. The girl, Janine, was my little Justine's best friend. Lauren has had a friend Jacki since kindergarten, and Jacki's sister is Justine. So we've known Jacki and Justine for a very long time, they are both very sweet little girls. Jacki is in 8th grade and Justine is a freshman, which Janine was also. So Janine was always over and Jacki and Justine's house, and since Lauren was there alot too, she got to know Janine pretty well. Anyways, the whole school, according to Meghan and Lauren, is in a daze, and everyone spends alot of time in the chapel crying and singing. Its very very sad, and with my grandma on top of this, the girls are having a pretty hard time.

Also, I got my Mateo sick, which I feel really bad about. But I'll take care of him just like he took care of me, and I'll probably get sick again, but it will be ok, cuz I'm still kinda sick. I still have a nice gunky cough.

School's coming to an end, most of my classes are done in 3 weeks, my music app class is done in 4. I plan on taking a week off before returning to Souper Salad and going camping, probably at Elephant Butte, since Vallecitos will be too cold still, according to my mom. I'm trying to get Daniel to come, so we can take the boat, cuz there's no way my dad will let me take the boat alone. But he'll let Daniel. It would be really fun if me, Matt, Kat, Paula, Kyle, Becca, and Dylan and then all of Daniel's friends would all go for 3 or 4 nights. It would be so so fun. I love camping!!! I really want it to happen. So everyone plan on doing that. Ok.

BOYS AND GIRLS, WELCOME TO THIS JOYRIDE

Had a really fun party Saturday night for Willly Mike (David Hampton)'s birthday. It was sweet, everybody behaved, and I had an awesome time till the very end. Party ended on a bad note, but its all understood and forgiven, and I've moved on. Thats why I don't hold grudges. It doesn't accomplish anything!

I have sweet videos and pictures from the night too. I love my camera.

I never go to work on Monday mornings. I just can't bring myself to. Cuddling in a warm bed is just so much better than making money. I have no motivation for work or school right now, the weather is way too nice outside.

It was rainy and cold and windy yesterday, so I'm glad I slept until 2pm and then laid around all day, watched Where The Red Fern Grows (with Dave!) with Kat and Josh, then Kat and I went to Flying Star and didn't study with Becca and Dylan. I got chicken and shrimp gumbo and it was SOOOOOO (with 6 O's) good!!! I like gumbo now. Bubbagump shrimp.

And today its nice and pretty and sunny! Yay!

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE FIRST MET? I SURE DO, IT WAS SOMETIME IN EARLY SEPTEMBER

Haven't posted in quite some time, alot has happened, but I can't remember any of it right now...

I've gotten over my illness, which was just a cold. And Kat took out my stitches, and then I was worried that the whole hole split back open (it was on my elbow, which...bends alot), but the doc said it would be fine.

I went to Santa for the weekend, which was nice. Lorn, my dad, and I went out to Diablo and checked out the rio, which was running full. I also helped Lorn with her softball tournament, I ran the crappy scoreboard.

The weather is SOOOOOOO (with 7 O's) nice! It was too fucking windy these past couple days, but it was very very nice today. Fortunately I wore really really uncomfortable flip flops today and now I have blisters on my feet.

Mateo is in Clovis to talk to kids about...Enlace maybe? I don't know I never pay attention to anything really....and then I forget everything anyways. Especially when its comes to Matt's millions of jobs. He'll be back late late tonite. My poor Mateo.

Cooper is being really sweet these past couple of days, I think its cuz I let him sleep with me in the mornings now. He's all cudly and I spoon with him.

Josh bought a parakeet named Fiji last week. He's way cute. He's got a bluegreen body with bluegreen and grey wings, and a yellow head. He's cute and messy and he sings.

Once I completely defeat my cold (my throat is still all shitty) I will jog 2/3 times a week and play tennis with Kat, on top of pilates. I have to work alot this week since I missed 6 hours last week, and I usually only work up to 10 hours a week. It sucks, I hate Walmart!!

STAY, BEAUTIFUL BABY

Sorry its been so long, I actually hadn't checked my email til this morning. This week was unusually stressful and busy for me. I procrastinated Hmark working till Wed Thurs and Fri, and had to work a shitload on Fri, a shitload being 4.5 hours. Its not much compared to an average work shift, but its hell when you're in Wally World, stuck with hundreds of idiots looking for easter baskets celo wrap. Who actually WRAPS baskets in clear plastic? My parents....I mean....the Easter Bunny, certainly never did.

Jon Heder/Napoleon Dynamite came to the SUB on Wednesday, it was SWEET. It didn't seem like he knew why he was here....he talked about himself for like...20 minutes, then did a Q&A session (he made sure to tell us Q&A stood for Question & Answer). Some kids asked absolute crap, others did cool stuff like bring him tots and ask him to dance. Turns out the dance in the film was improv, wasn't coreographed (sp?) at all. And it also turns out Uncle Rico is a vegetarian. Getting hit in the face with a steak hurt. Falling off the fence hurt. Tina the lama belongs to the director's family.

Tuesday the 22nd was Matt and I's 6 month anniversary. Thats half of a year. Thats crazy. We went to lunch with Becca and almost Kassi. It was the most I've seen of him on a weekday like...ever. It was really nice. He got me flowers! No one has ever gotten me flowers, it was very very sweet. I also got a certificate for a chair massage, ooooh, and a really sweet card. I got him toilet paper and Peeps, which he enjoyed putting in the microwave, which was awesome. And I got him a Hmark card, cuz he only deserves the very best. That was his actual hair in the movie, they had to perm it twice, and it stung. The steak was microwaved and the tots were cold. Among other things. It was cool, there was a sweet NP lookalike contest, the kid who one did a very very good job.

And its time to go to my grandma's to eat BURGERS!!

DAVEDAVEDAVEDAVEDAVEDAVEDAVE!!!!!


Oh man, SO much is happening in DMB land with the new cd coming out! A couple days ago the title of the cd was released (Stand Up) and the coverart was also released (the silver firedancer with a black background). Today aol released the first single, American Baby, which I LOVE! Preorder stuff is out, tour dates are up, !!!! So much stuff, and I'm way excited for everything!!

I love Dave!!

To check out American Baby, go here http://demand1.stream.aol.com/ramgen/aol/us/aolmusic/artists/bmg/davematthewsband/davematthews_americanbaby_fl_yfxhyfxfh.rm

I. Am. So. Tired. I got 5 hours of sleep, which would seem like enough, but an hour and a half into work, I completely ran out of energy. I left an hour and a half early, came home, and stuffed myself full of macaroni and cheese.

Last night I was in what was probably closest I've ever had to a perfect moment. I was lying in a sea of a bed in Matt's arms, nice and warm, watching Good Eats - my favorite tv show. I was so comfortable, thinking about how much I love Matt and how much I wish I could think like Alton Brown. He taught us how to brew our own beer! Not that I would actually ever wanna try it...it seemed complicated. And then we learned about nuts...I wanna make cashew butter! That seemed easy.

I just have one more midterm left, pilates, until SPRING BREAK! I'm gonna sleep for an entire week! Except for when I have to come back to Alb to work. And when Kat, Becca, and I go camping! Woo camping!!!

MAMA DAY

I got to see my mommy today! I love when she works at one of the wally worlds here because then we get to go to lunch/dinner (on her). Today we went to Applebee's and instead of getting my usual oriental chicken salad, I got the oriental chicken salad WRAP! Its prettymuch the salad wrapped in a tortilla, which was delicioso! And while I was waiting for her at wal-mart I decided to do some shopping which I knew she would pay for. I got some cool snacks and other just I needed for the house...like a red silocone wisk!

And then I came home and proceded to deep clean the whole kitchen. But I still need to clean out the fridge and mop the floor and wipe off the table. I tackled the counters and the oven. Oh! And while sweeping, I discovered we had one of those drawers underneath the oven for pots and pans!! A whole new storage space!! Now I have all sorts of room for more crap! Sweet!!

I had my spanish midterm this morning, which I didn't really care about but still did good on (I think/hope). I slept through my shower time again, so maybe I'll shower after I finish w/the kitchen. Then tomorrow I'll move onto the living room, then the laundry room, then my bathroom, and then my room. Hah, yeah right, I actually won't do shit again until Saturday before our bbq. Fuck, I need to call people about that. Attention to everyone who reads this (Kat, Brian, and Matt:)

Josh and I are having a bbq at our house on Saturday 2/12 around 3 or 4pm. You are welcome to stay the night, but bring shit to sleep in. We will have food, drinks ;) and movies. Of course it would rock if anyone wants to bring anything extra. We have a very nice list of 30 people -- 8 of those people being people I want to invite, and 22 of them being Josh's. I'm sure not even close to everyone will show up. This will be a great way to kick off spring break, and even a better excuse to fill my keg! Woo!

MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW

Man today was fun!!! I went sledding! I flew through the air!! It rocked so much.

So I went to Santa Fe this weekend, I went up there yesterday afternoon. When I got there, my parents and I went to wonderful Souper Salad, where I had delicious Vegetable Beef and ginger bread. Then I went home and took a nap, in order to store all the fat into my BELLEH!! (said like Fat Bastard) I woke up and watched a couple movies on tv, and became so bored I became depressed and started to cry a little. I hate when I do that. Then Kat called me! And we went and had coffee at IHOP!! We sat with some people she knew from swing, and they talked about it the WHOLE time and it was pretty weird. But I had awesome grain 'n nut pancakes, which were DELICIOSO! Came home, watched the end of a weird movie, went to bed at 2am.

Woke up at 9am in typical Sunday morning fashion to Dad and Lorn being VERY loud. Peed, and went back to bed until 12pm. Woke up, ate CEREAL!! Delicioso!! Rice chex, very yummay! Then after a while we decided (meaning I forced everyone) to go sledding! We drove up the mountain to where that ski shop is, but the sledding run was closed for no apparent reason. So we drove up to Big Tesuque and sled there, which was much better than the skiing run would have been anyways! We started off slow, then as we went farther up the trail the runs became steeper, faster, and with jumps. Lorn and I had some fun for about an hour, then for my grand finale, I decided to take the best run, and with more speed. I go down it alot faster than I had the previous times, and take a huge jump in the air. My dad said I went about 2 feet off the ground for a length of close to 6 feet. It seemed alot higher than that, but it was very fast. I was grateful when I landed well, but then I biffed it and tumbled over and fell on my head. I lied on the ground laughing/dying for a good minute, and it was wonderful. I LOVE sledding! Its the cheapest entertainment ever! Came home, and watched tv. And I guess that was it.

And now I need to write a 2 page reaction paper on whether or not I think drugs should be legalized. We read like 5 essays on the subject, and I have sided with no, but just the overall fact that it wouldn't do much good at all.

John Stamos is way hot. Even in post-Uncle Jesse years, way hot.

STAND BY ME

I miss Matt. I've slept alone for 4 nights in a row, which is forever consdering I hadn't gone one night alone in more than a month. I got to see him Sunday night and again on Tuesday, which was nice, but rushed, but I understand that he's busy there.

Luckily Cooper keeps me entertained. He's such a screwball. He constantly meows, but is really smart and finally used the litterbox. He seeked his revenge on Josh by peeing on this stuff, including his computer. Josh chased him with the broom the other morning when he wouldn't stop meowing.

I think I may have lost the faceplate to my stereo, AGAIN. Lets revew the exciting history of my car stereos. I had my entire stereo stolen once. All the other times were my fault. One faceplate broke when it fell out of my purse when I went on the hammers at the county fair. I lost it the day of the DMB concert in '04. I think I broke or lost another faceplate another time. And now it is possible that I have lost this one. I love being retarded.

DAVE MATTHEWS BAND TOUR DATES!!!!!

Wed / Jun 01 / UMB Bank Pavilion / Maryland Heights, MO *
Thu / Jun 02 / Tweeter Center / Tinley Park, IL *
Sat / Jun 04 / Post-Gazette Pavilion / Burgettstown, PA *
Sun / Jun 05 / Post-Gazette Pavilion / Burgettstown, PA *
Tue / Jun 07 / Germain Amphitheatre / Columbus, OH *
Wed / Jun 08 / Germain Amphitheatre / Columbus, OH *
Sun / Jun 12 / Verizon Wireless Music Center / Noblesville, IN *
Mon / Jun 13 / Verizon Wireless Music Center / Noblesville, IN *
Wed / Jun 15 / Blossom Music Center / Cuyahoga Falls, OH *
Sat / Jun 18 / ctnow.com Meadows Music Theater / Hartford, CT *
Sun / Jun 19 / ctnow.com Meadows Music Theater / Hartford, CT *
Wed / Jun 22 / Ford Pavilion at Montage Mountain / Scranton, PA *
Thu / Jun 23 / Verizon Wireless Amphitheater / Virginia Beach, VA *
Sat / Jun 25 / Hershey Stadium / Hershey, PA
Sun / Jun 26 / Nissan Pavilion at Stoneridge / Bristow, VA
Tue / Jun 28 / Verizon Wireless Amphitheatre / Charlotte, NC *
Wed / Jun 29 / ALLTEL Pavilion / Raleigh, NC *
Fri / Jul 01 / Saratoga Performing Arts Center / Saratoga Springs, NY *
Sat / Jul 02 / Saratoga Performing Arts Center / Saratoga Springs, NY *
Tue / Jul 05 / Tweeter Center at the Waterfront / Camden, NJ
Wed / Jul 06 / Tweeter Center at the Waterfront / Camden, NJ
Thu / Jul 14 / Ford Amphitheatre / Tampa, FL
Sat / Jul 16 / Sound Advice Amphitheatre / West Palm Beach, FL
Sun / Jul 17 / Sound Advice Amphitheatre / West Palm Beach, FL
Wed / Jul 20 / Starwood Amphitheatre / Antioch, TN *
Thu / Jul 21 / Riverbend Amphitheatre / Cincinnati, OH
Sat / Jul 23 / Alpine Valley Music Theatre / East Troy, WI *
Sun / Jul 24 / Alpine Valley Music Theatre / East Troy, WI *
Wed / Jul 27 / Darien Lake Performing Arts Center / Darien Lake, NY *
Sat / Aug 12 / SBC Park / San Francisco, CA (special 4 ticket limit for this show)
Sun / Aug 13 / SBC Park / San Francisco, CA (special 4 ticket limit for this show)
Wed / Aug 16 / Sleep Train Amphitheatre / Sacramento, CA *
Fri / Aug 19 / Gorge Amphitheatre / George, WA *
Sat / Aug 20 / Gorge Amphitheatre / George, WA *
Sun / Aug 21 / Gorge Amphitheatre / George, WA *
Thu / Aug 25 / Coors Amphitheatre / Chula Vista, CA *
Sat / Aug 28 / Home Depot Center / Carson, CA *
Sun / Aug 29 / Home Depot Center / Carson, CA *
Tue / Aug 30 / Cricket Pavilion / Phoenix, AZ *

!!!!!*****Wed / Aug 31 / Journal Pavilion / Albuquerque, NM ****!!!!!!

Fri / Sep 02 / Verizon Wireless Amphitheater / Selma, TX *
Mon / Sep 05 / Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion / Woodlands, TX *
Wed / Sep 07 / Verizon Wireless Amphitheater / Bonner Springs, KS *

- DMB SHOWS TO BE ANNOUNCED
Sat / Jul 09 / TBA / Boston, MA
Sun / Jul 10 / TBA / Boston, MA
Sat / Jul 30 / TBA / New York, New York
Sun / Jul 31 / TBA / New York, New York

The show here in Alb at the Journal Pavilion is on August 31st!! The tickets for that show go on sale April 2nd at 10am at ticketmaster.com and for Warehouse members, the tickets are already open for requests!!!

!!!!!DAVE!!!!!

FUCK

Don't you hate it when you forget (sometimes on purpose, sometimes not) that you have important stuff to do? Well I am still in the process of procrastinating homework since I didn't get home to Alb until 1130 last night, and since Josh got a cat we stayed up till 130 playing with it. I have a soc test. I guess I'll just read over the notes. My honors group is meeting at 530, I haven't done any of my research. But I will do it between english and pilates, since I have an hour to waste. And I honestly forgot about that. I just don't care about soc. I'll care later I guess.

Our cat is named Cooper and he is white with orange on his back and he is really really friendly and loving and he purrs alot and he's really smart! He pooped in the makeshift litter box we created! I love him!

And now I have to drive across town for work. Fuck.

LET THE RAIN SPLASH ALL OVER YOU

Ahh, I love Santa Fe. I love everything about it. I love playing bingo at my grandma's house. I love napping with Boots. I love making fun of the chickens, I love the musical cars we play in the driveway. I love watching the food network. I love village inn. I love pancakes. I love how I got my stupid brother in trouble (he deserved it).

And I love how we are going to the mountains tomorrow to look at all the snow!! Meghan (sister) and her friends went sledding all over today and said the whole drive up is crazy, cuz there's just huge piles of snow on both sides of the road. She said she'd never seen so much snow here. I'm so excited! And I KNEW I should have brought pants and shoes for sledding. I just knew it!! I think I'll find something though and sled anyways, and just brave the cold. I think our plan is to go to Angelfire next weekend...if the cool sledding run there is still open. That would rock.

I love my kitties. Boots loves to hang outside with me and Rocky loves to be fat and cute and dirty and he likes to meow. Boots likes to bug mom too. April (dog) likes to lick the floor and bark at dad even when she recognizes his truck. I want to take Boots home with me. He's so lovey, even when I wake him up just to carry him around in that weird way that we like. Boots also loves it when Matt spins him, even though he'd never admit it. He does not, however, like it when Matt holds his head. Bad Matt.

Last night I saw Chloe! It was so weird! I was picking up Kat and Becca from Coronado to take them to Phi Delt and Chloe was out front with her boyfriend, who lives there, I guess! Her hair looked so pretty and I'm still not over it. She always had trouble with her hair and now its so pretty! It made me think of when we all went to Cochiti Lake at the very end of the summer, right before Harlie and Forrest left. I love those kids. And Nick too. Haha that was awesome when Tom couldn't go in the convenience store cuz he wasn't wearing a shirt, so he proceded to record his dissapointment on his camcorder.

Man I cannot wait till summer!! Kat and I went to AE and my feet got so excited when they saw the flipflops! And I tried on the cutest frilly white shirt that I can't wait to buy! And capris! I love feeling like a hillbilly wearing capris with my hightops. I can't wait to sport that when I climb trees! I'll be so buff from pilates I'll be able to scale those downtown trees in no time! And I'll be able to return to my lovely home of Super Salad! None of this Hallmark shit anymore, but back to Shawn & Angela!

Irena called me today! We talked and laughed for like an hour, it was fun! I miss her. I love reminiscing (sp???) about this summer with her. It was so fucking fun, I'm still not over it.

I want to take a road trip so bad. I don't care that its not warm yet. I'm itching to go soak myself in Pagosa Springs for a couple days. And later this summer to tube down the river. !!Oohh! And there will be alot more water in it this summer, so our butts won't hit the rocks like they always do! Score!!!

Matt is gonna be here in Santa all week, which makes me very sad because 1) Hello, I won't get to see him for a week! I'll die!! This will be the last you all see of me. Goodbye. 2) He'll be in Santa and I won't, which makes me jealous. I can't live without my Matt, I don't know what I'll do. I guess I'll just die.

I'd like to apologize to everyone with whom I was short this week. I've been in this weird mood for most of it, I have no idea why. I think my allergy medication is draining all of my energy, and I've just been grumpy for some reason. I think I miss my family, since I haven't been home to Santa in like 3 weeks. Thats why I'm going there tomorrow. And I'm gonna go early, and I may stay the night. I'm not sure yet. I just feel like all week i've been on the verge of tears for no particular reason. I've let little things get me down, little things that shouldn't even throw me off as much as they did. I was just extra-sensitive, and so I'm sorry to everyone.

LETS KEEP IT TOGETHER, CAN WE KEEP IT TOGETHER?

Holy shit, I cannot believe how HORRIBLE Jeopardy was tonite!! It was even the Tournament of Champions, meaning they kicked major ass back in the 80s when they were on the show. Two of the guys won tens of thousands of dollars and are now attorneys, and the other guy one the teen championship in 2002, so he's still in college, so I accept him sucking. But the other two have no excuse. They didn't get half of the questions in the second round, so one attorney and the college kid ended the 2nd round with negative points, so they didn't even go on to final jeopardy. The other attorney got the question right though and ended up with like...$25,000 I think. It was very very disappointing. However, I did really good in the astronomy category! Go lunar eclipses!

"I wonder if the pilgrams were CLEVER enough to put peanut butter in their celery." -Kitty from That 70s Show

Today sucked. Like really really sucked. Even though I faked cheery most of the day, I was faced with the feeling of not being wanted anymore. Its really a GREAT feeling. Really. Really. Great.

On a lighter note, I saw Mona Tokmachi today! Kat and I were stuffing our faces full of delicious philly cheesesteak sandwiches from Higher Grounds at the pond, and she was walking across the bridge! I hadn't seen Mona since....my birthday, probably! I miss her, she was always really fun. To those who don't know, Mona went to St Mike's through....sophomore year I think, and we were really close friends.

On another lighter note, Kat almost officially has a boyfriend! I'm very happy for her, and apparently Doug really likes her. She was bugging Paula and I with her lovy happiness while we were in bad moods. But good for Kat, she's been waiting for this one.

Howie and Dave (my mice) are getting really smart! Ok, Dave is actually just getting really fat, but Howie is getting smart! He is so intent on escaping the cage! He shimmies up behind the water bottle and looks around, way close to the top of the cage. If he could only cling onto the ceiling like spiderman and chew on the roof for a while, he'd be a free man. I try to tease him, by leaving the skylight open. He stretches up on the cheese wedge and really tries. He just needs to pull himself up and out of there. In the meantime, I'm teaching them both a way cool trick. I put my arms out beside my body in a straight line, and put on of them in my hand, and they run up my arm, across my shoulders, and down the other arm, into my other hand, just like in The Green Mile! Its so cool! Only they ACTUALLY sit in my hand, and I raise my hand up so they have to climb down, then they stop at the base of my arm, so I put them on my other shoulder and put my arm down, so he climbs down the other side. However, my goal is to have them do the trick quickly and on their own, the way I explained it the first time. I love my micies!

JESUS ON THE RADIO

I really lucked out in spanish today. I knew we had to do our group presentation, but our group had not gotten together, so I went to class with only the cd Matt gave me (thank you!) that had a bunch of spanish music on it. Luckily no one else in the whole class was prepared either. So I really just have to look up a hispanic artist and talk about them for 3 minutes. I picked Gloria Estefan, because she was my 2nd favorite singer when I was younger. Once class started I got a hair in my eye and could not get it out, and did not get it out until 12:20. I was not happy, and neither was my eye. It was one of those little white hairs, that probably came from a off of someone in my class's dog.

After classes I went to Wally World on Carlisle to help my mom finish up an installation and to go eat with her. We went to Church's, and we got blocked in my a semi for half an hour. Walmart changed their bags from blue to white and its freaking me out. And when my mom dropped me off at my car back at Wmart she drove away with my phone. Luckily and suprisingly I had a calling card in my wallet...not sure where it came from...and used a payphone, which was also weird.

I almost got into 2 accidents today. I was being way smart. I blame one on a retarded trucker blocking the light, and another on a guy just being an asshole and not letting me drive infront of him.

Josh has been asleep for a really long time, since I got home. I wonder if I should go poke him or something. I probably should start editing my english essay....

after That 70's Show.

WHO WERE YOU JUST THINKING OF, DIANE?

Today I felt underappreciated and unwanted. I've always felt that people take advantage of me, but then when I try to avoid this, I seem like a bitch. I'm having a really hard time finding a point between the two. When I do favors for people or lend them money, etc., they step all over me. Take my sister, Meghan. I remember driving her places when she asked, buying her fast food, taking her friends places, and such. She was always such a bitch to me anyways. And then if I refuse to take her places, I'm a bitch. I used to tell her I'd take her if she took her trash out of my car, that didn't solve anything. She is probably the most difficult person my family and I have ever had to deal with. But I don't feel that bad today. I'm just edgy for some reason.

Maybe because this weekend was so depressingly uneventful. Saturday I didn't do a damn thing till like 9pm. I woke up at 10, which was a great start, and went to the bank. I came back home, and fell asleep on the couch and didn't wake up till 3pm, and then watched tv until 9. Kat and I went to this guy Doug's party. (Humming the theme song to Doug) Doug is Kat's new guy, I really hope this one works out, cuz he seems like a very good pick. The party was weird. We played this really fun drinking game called Moose, which involves an ice cube tray. Very simple and fun. We were trying to figure out if all the kids there were in high school or college, and it really seemed like high school, but it ends up that all but one of them go to unm....weird.

I FINALLY got into the 2nd session of my pilates class. I checked itel in the library today and the class finally had an opening. I'm really glad I got into it, pilates is my only form of exercise right now, although I'm trying to convince myself to also do pilates on my own on wednesdays, it sucks that the class is only twice a week.

Having thoughts, trying to ignore them in order to avoid trouble.

Tomorrow is 5 months with Matt. Wow, it does not seem like its been that long at all! I love you, Matt!

MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO

I'd just like to take this opportunity to publicly thank my brother and his friends for: reading my playboy, leaving candy, gushers, and cookies all over my room, staining my comforter with chocolate whipped cream, leaving the chocolate whipped cream can on the floor, leaving a half-empty corona bottle on my nightstand, leaving the beer-soaked mop behind the refrigerator, putting a hole in the living room wall, leaving many coronoa beer caps all over the house, putting a stereo on top of my Steve Miller Band's greatest hits vinyl record, ruining the envelope to Matt's valentine's card, filling out an entire week in my daily Jeopardy calendar, staining the floor with their "jungle juice," filling the sink with jungle juiced dishes, and leaving many interestingly damp towels in the bathroom. Thanks guys, you filled an hour and a half of my evening with pure joy.

On a lighter note, Josh Zwemer is moving in with me! I'm excited to finally have a housemate that isn't my idiot brother. Should be fun. Although Teresa is coming to take the tv, entertainment center, and possibly the little couch. Oh well, Josh has a tv.

And now I need to write an essay. Just needed to vent.

Happy Valentine's Day. I love you, Matt!

STOP buying crap!

OK! So I can finally post. My computer had some problems this last month or so. It's still sick, but atleast it will let me post and email now.

School's going good, I like all of my classes. Sadly, my least favorite is Sociology. The professor talks too fast, and expects us to read the entire chapter before he even starts lecturing on it. And he talks too quietly. Its really hard to take notes w/him. I have no problem w/reading the chapter because I like sociology....just not the teacher I guess. I love pilates. Its hard, but its fun, and I can already feel myself getting better at it. I wish it was more than twice a week though. And I'll be pissed if I can't get into the session for the rest of the semester. It forces me to exercise, because its for a credit.

So Wednesday night Kat and I went to see the sneak peek of Hitch at Cottonwood, but it was full, so we headed over to the dollar theater, and saw Ray. When we came out, my door was unlocked, the glove compartment was open, and my DMB cd case that had 30 cds in it, and my other cd case with 40 cds were both gone. The estimated cost of all the cds plus the cases is $1130. Luckily insurance will take care of it. According to what Matt saw on the news, there's been alot of break-ins on the west side, so hopefully they'll find the fuckers. I was really pissed when it happened (and by pissed I mean cry-ie), but now I've accepted it and I just look forward to going on a cd shopping spree with the money from the insurance company. Although I think I'll save some of it, as I am almost broke again.

I think I'm gonna have to work for Halmark again. Souper Salad isn't gonna work out, and my mom needs to hire people in Alb, and I already know how to do it, and its good money, AND I get to work whenever I want. I just hate the actual work. Stocking cards at Wal-mart. I HATE wal-mart. I wish I didn't even shop there. But its the cheapest place....and I'm poor. So I don't really have a choice.

Valentine's day is coming up next week...oh man. I know what I'm gonna get for Matt, I just wish I had a better idea than this. Its convenient....but not necessarily romantic. I mean, what do you get for a guy? Kat said cologne....no...and no one else has suggested anything. So we'll see.

I'm watching the Super Bowl and the commercials suck so far. I might as well be doing homework.

And earlier when I was driving home I saw a stop sign that said "buying crap" underneath it and thought it was pretty funny. Last night we talked about "HUMP Dr. Greer's Mom" and I also remember "this SCHOOL sucks!"

OHHH, BACK TO SCHOOL

School started back up to day. I went to Spanish 202 at 9:30 and then onto Music Appreciation at 11. Both of them were cool. My brother's ex-roomate, Kayla, who is nice but unpredictable, is in my spanish class. I heard all sorts of horror stories about Music, especially from Brian, who said it was horrible and boring. But my teacher is a funny average dude in his early 30's, and we listened to The Police's "Every Breathe You Take," and disected it in all sorts of cool little ways. So I already like that class.

I also got to hang with Kat, Paula, and Mat for a couple hours which was fun, and I showed Paula where all of her classes were.

So it was a pretty nice day, tomorrow I've got Sociology 101 (w/Kat), and English 102. Thurs brings Spanish and Music again, followed by my honors class, which seems fairly interesting, and Fri I've got Soc and Eng again and then a two hour break until Pilates class at 5 (every Mon and Fri night). I'm really looking forward to Pilates so I can finally battle the bulge.

I've been very happy since I've been able to spend the past couple of days with Matt, which was very very nice. I really missed seeing him every day, and after feuding and making up with him last week, I love being with him even more. I was not too happy to be back in Albuquerque because I just don't like the city, but Matt makes it more than worth it. I love that kid.

I just watched like 2 hours of American Idol auditions. Some people are just plain retarded.

I'LL GO ON FOREVER KNOWNING I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN

Well I'm back in Albuquerque. My car was stuffed with twice as much stuff as it had when I was going back home to Santa Fe. A whole bunch of Christmas shit, I guess. Kat, Paula, and Becca are all still in Santa Fe, and Matt is working, so I am left with nothing to do except try to use AOL for as long as possible, until they figure out the credit card I have on the account has been dead for months, and I'll probably get into trouble with that again. I looked into getting DSL put in, since we don't even use the phone line, it'll cost 50 bucks to get the modem (or something) ten for installation, 30 each month, shipping, installation....I dunno. I guess I'll have to go without the net for a while until my brother agrees to pay half the installation fee and shit like that.

I could be watching Good Eats right now, but those days are over and I am once again faced with 7 channels, if you include the Jesus channel.

Ooh! But I got my Warehouse package today!! They gave me the coolest mousepad I have ever seen! It has live scenes and Dave Matthews Band and the Warehouse written all over it, and its that sorta thing where you move it back and forth and the images dissapear and appear....I'm sure there's a name for it...hologram? Dunno, but its so cool. Too bad I don't have a mouse...oh well. I'll put in on my wall. They also gave me a 7-live-song cd which has rare ones, like Blue Water, JTR, Raven, and I'll Back You Up. And I love the into they've been doing these past few years to One Sweet World. Its my favorite intro, very pretty.

I leave the front door open to the house just so I don't feel alone. This way I can look at the competing house across the street and know there is someone nearby. (ABC World News Tonight just showed a really cool avalanche)

There is no food in the house, I'm eyeing the oriental noodles, that are just plain noodles and cook like Ramen I guess...but I have nothing to eat them with but salt and pepper...mmm.

Over all this, I'm glad to be back in the same city as Matt, and I'm looking forward to some classes, like Soc and Pilates, because I'm getting too fat, and this way I have to work out.

So I haven't posted in quite some time. But thats because my computer is crappy lately and I'd rather not even bother with it. But I'm making a killing tonite.

So Christmas was cool. I got a whole bunch of cool little things. And $100 to Old Navy, since my mom didn't buy us clothes this year. She decided we could get alot more with the after Xmas sales. And I still haven't gone, so there will be nothing left, and the sales are over. Oh well. I just want 2 pairs of good jeans and I'm fine. Matt gave me a flippin' sweet book by Alton Brown called "I'm Just Here for More Food." Its awesome. I haven't really dug into it yet, but I will once I return to Alb and have more time. The one thing I wanted most was cool plates and bowls for my boring house, and only Kat got me some. Two little kid sets with a cup, bowl, plate, and a spoon I think. They're flippin' awesome!

Been doing some pretty good quality partying this break. A very successful party at Kassi's for Kat's birthday, a great New Year's party at Sexy Kyle's, and a going away party for Irena last night at Kyle Tuffli's (aka Mediocre Kyle). Matt was able to attend all three, and seemed to have a good time with my friends, which are now becoming his friends as well. He's fitting in very nicely with everything. My family loves him, even though he really is just with me to get to Lorn (Gross Matt, really sick). Its hard being away from him for more than a couple days, but with both of us working more, its hard. He's in classes all this coming week from 8-5, so I'll make a couple evening runs down there. He took me to an opening of a museum....well, it was the empty building that a museum is going to be in. I felt bad that I didn't really fit in. Its the Unser Racing Museum. And I know absolutely NOTHING about racing, and its Matt's life, so I felt out of place when I had nothing to say to anyone, except for the women in the bathroom when we discussed the backed-up toilet. But it was fairly fun to dress up, and Matt looks especially cute when he's in a suite.

So my mom forgot to pay UNM on time, and now I may be dissenrolled, which means I'll have to re-register for my classes, which will royally SUCK, considering I barely got into the classes I really want: Pilates and the cool honors class about pirates and stuff. I especially need to be in pilates so that I am forced to exercise. I'm getting too fat.

Just four more days of work at Souper Salad and then I'm done till this summer. I've enjoyed working as a server, its put me in a new social circle at work. The mexicans in the back still hate me, I can tell. Only two of the women like me back there. And we can't even really talk. I tried talking to one of them, and she talked too fast and I gave up. And I'm majoring in Spanish. I'm looking forward to school starting up again. And I'll need to find another job right away. I'm gonna talk to my managers at Le Soup to see if they can get me any sweet hookups with the Soupers in Alb. That would be sweet. I hate always needing money. And then I go and blow it on pitches and gas and food. Oh well.

Irena left back to Hawaii last night. It was really fun having her back, I missed my spoony. Kassi left a week ago, and I feel bad because I didn't get to say bye to her. But I still plan on going to San Diego....so I should see her soon enough. Kyle will prolly be leaving soon. And Paula's here to stay!! I'm so glad she's back for good. I missed her alot alot. I hope she'll like it at UNM.

That should hold me off for a while. Take care, kids.